"Incursions amid the siege against my attention"
"Incursions amid the siege against my attention"
By Peter Severson
The digital age has confronted me with many challenges to living well, not least of which is the fact that this draft sat in my e-mail folder unfinished for weeks. Every time I'd open my e-mail to write a little more, I'd be tempted by the little "+" sign next to my open browser tab, a tantalizing world of distraction merely two clicks away at every second. Eventually, I had to turn off my wi-fi and open a full-screen page in order to think and write properly without the risk of slipping into a black hole of internet-facilitated time-wasting.
I suspect that many of us walk through a similar wilderness every day, confronted by temptation and often unable to avoid giving in. Certainly I'm guilty of this at a high frequency. But I've made small incursions amid the siege against my attention. Like many people, I've removed all social media from my life. I also have a cell phone that does not buzz, ring, vibrate, light up, or otherwise ping me for anything except texts from immediate family (and even then, only during daytime hours). When I bed down in the evening, I write by hand in my journal - a practice I've kept up since I was 11 years old - or read a book, or work a crossword puzzle. I go through periods where I successfully turn off my phone at night and banish my laptop from my bed, but I also go through periods of relapsing.
There's a regular push-and-pull with my attachment to devices, and I've decided to forgive myself for periods where my commitment to a digital-free bedroom ebbs. It makes it easier to restart without guilt, and I avoid giving up before I begin from a fear that I'll just fail later on. I know I'll probably fail again, but I always try again.
The other practice that has formed me deeply in the digital age is intentional communion with nature. I live at the edge of North America's Rocky Mountains and find it deeply satisfying to escape into the wilderness for several days at a time. Traveling far into the mountains necessitates bringing my phone as an emergency safety backup, but it remains tucked away and out of reach on my backpacking and hiking excursions. Sitting in the stillness and silence of the wilderness is beyond what I can find at home, despite the profusion of a good many parks and trails near my house. I pursue wilderness adventures as regularly as I'm able. In the winter, skiing offers me a physical activity to focus on, and the combination of risk and thrill it requires of me takes my full attention away from any digital distractions.
I don't presume that I have answered the call to live "unconformed" perfectly. I work a job that requires looking at a laptop frequently; my phone is usually within reach; when I watch a TV show, I often fail to avoid double-screening. But I also get outside, I make music, I write, I swim, I bike to work, and I prioritize face-to-face time with my friends and family. My faith teaches me I'll never achieve perfection in anything I pursue, so I can live free of any mental or spiritual burden that would see falling short as evidence that I ought not to have tried at all. I'm doing the best I can with the tools I have, and I leave the rest in God's hands. I'm grateful to find community spaces like this one where we can share the burden and the joys of life in this age - it is the only life we'll have on this Earth, so we ought to make the most of it.
-Peter Severson
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