I permanently deleted instagram this summer (after much hand wringing) & now my only reaction is why didn’t I do this years ago!? Seems incredibly silly that I had so much internal strife now that I’m on the other side and free from its tentacles.
I remember my dad yelling at me to turn off the tv or stereo or the Atari and do my homework. Now my kid has to do much of his homework on the same machine where he watches videos, plays games and listens to music. It was even worse in the pandemic when that was how he “attended” school. He’s a diligent student but even Odysseus had to be tied down to resist the sirens.
Atari - haha, those were the days. My father was one of the first in Switzerland to open up a computer store in 1986 - so I learned to type my name on a Commodore 64. We try and separate devices for use, so that entertainment and school work do not get mixed up, but it certainly is a Herculean effort.
My elementary school had an early computer lab. All the Commodore 64 was good for was playing ‘Walk Like an Egyptian’. Mostly we fought over the Apple so we could play Oregon Trail.
Yes, the straw! Thank you. There is a book out there called "Tethered" by CM Collins, 2018. In it he posits the story of Daedalus and his son Icarus is a story about the clever tech of one generation killing the next. I think the genius of even the earliest writers seeing this is a very good lesson for our sophisticated, technical world.
Love! Love! Love! I am a software tester at an IT company, and both myself and my officemate have dumb phones. The conversations among many of my colleagues center around rejecting technology in our personal lives, being present in reality and returning to the land. Seeing technology from the inside has made me more and more convinced that we must break free from our addiction to it and refocus our gaze in reality. Thank you for sharing!
Do you mind me asking, do you ever miss smartphones when you’re out and about, for maps and finding out if something is open? I know I used to live without this luxury but in this instance I don’t know how!
I don't even have a dumbphone. When I go somewhere unknown I look up the directions at home and draw a map or note street names (we also don't have GPS). I only borrow my husband's phone for emergency use when driving long distances in snow storm weather. When in a bind I will ask to borrow someone's phone for a moment. On the whole it is a very small inconvenience; I think we easily overestimate our need for a phone on the go and fail to recognize how frequently it prevents us from finding other, simple solutions.
I don't have a smartphone, and when I was driving to visit my daughter at her new home, I took a wrong exit and stopped at a convenience store to buy a map. Of course, they didn't sell maps. So I asked the girl at the counter how to get on a particular road. She said, "Can't you use your phone???" I said I didn't have a smartphone, and she was baffled. She had no idea how to direct me to a main road. I drove on to a fast food restaurant and asked an older gentleman, and he easily told me how to get the road I was looking for. Most people don't even know how to navigate their local roads because they're so dependent on their phones.
We still have several digital cameras that work perfectly and you can upload pictures from there. Alternatively you can simply use a phone but uninstall apps. You may also consider taking the phone along for camera use on some outings, but otherwise just leave it behind - without the need to capture anything it is easier to enjoy your time.
What a wonderful list of resources. Thank you for including me! I also recommend HearthandField.com and FrontPorchRepublic.com to anyone interested in reading more about these things!
So good, Ruth. I’ve been off IG for 8 weeks, and miss some aspects of it, but honestly, not much. It’s made me really re-think who I considered to be “friends” online. I live in a very rural place, with no nearby neighbors and often thought of social media as a way to connect, when I’m so isolated. But being off IG for two months has made me realize the connections online weren’t what I thought they were. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Thanks for your note Stacy. That sounds like a challenging situation, when you have to weigh online connection against isolation. I think the snippets we send each other have the semblance of connection but also take us away from developing deeper relationships in real life. I am trying to imagine myself in your situation and think if I had no one around me I would likely call my friends by phone quite a bit, use the online world to connect with real life friends and family via skype, and make a regular effort to meet with neighbours that are nearest to me. The effect that social media platforms have on me, even when used infrequently, is that they hold a tether to my mind and heart, slightly shifting my perceptions and thoughts toward morsels that could be shared. I don’t like that. I want to redirect my thoughts and heart fully to my surroundings, where I can have a tangible effect. I noted that you interview women who live on rural farms on your substack - have you considered having a monthly zoom meeting together to chat and share experiences? In a situation like yours where you are literally in the middle of nowhere, this form on real-life-online compromise might be a valuable connection. Just thinking out loud... All the best :)
I had the same experience, Stacy. That was the hardest part about leaving IG, but like you said, it made me realize what a true friend truly is. If they followed me off social media in order to remain friends, then I realized that friendship was truly an important one. As for the ones that I never heard of again, I realized that perhaps that wasn't as much of a friendship at all. It was a hard aspect to process through.
There is such a fine line between liberating yourself from technology and giving up all the benefits. I like to strike a balance with periods away from the digital sphere, where I can enjoy nature or conversation, and periods where I'm very immersed. For me, this works really well.
Thank you, Ruth, for sharing all the stories, from your own technician's story down through all the people who related their experiences during the May detox. I'm glad to have them to read now, a couple of months later, when I needed the encouragement of the community to keep pursuing my goals. The painting at top is perfect for our group -- I feel it is a real community, of the sort who would definitely know how to make the most of a summer picnic together in one physical place, leaving our devices at home! Instead, we mostly inspire one another to be present with the ones we're with, but that is very good, too.
Some years ago I began to realize, not completely on my own, about the reality of childhood memories, and how vain an attempt it is to try to "make a memory" by crafting events for one's children to experience and then photographing the whole thing to assist the memory. Young children tend to remember events during which something unexpected (unplanned) happened, creating drama among the parties involved, and often strong emotions and reactions. A beautiful day with a beautiful birthday cake and everything going smoothly can't compete. There are plenty of opportunities for unintentionally making memories, in any household where children and adults work and play alongside for hours every day, and children learn lessons and love just from simple, humble days with their parents and siblings.
Related to this, I particularly appreciated the letter from Stephanie at The Coffee Shop, because she ruminated on the grief of time passing too quickly, and how we try to capture moments with our cell phone cameras. I do this a lot, especially since becoming a widow, though I have always had a sort of documentarist compulsion, to record something about everything. The thing is, I always know that using my camera constantly takes part of my away from whatever or whomever I am photographing -- and I am becoming more aware of that all the time, especially since the lockdowns separated me from so many people. Now when I am with someone and able to look into her face and listen to her voice, it seems so precious an encounter. I don't want to steal from the moment in hopes of having that thing I stole in the future. Besides which, the world is now smothered in flat images, and that glut has somehow cheapened them and made them boring.
As Stephanie said, we can't stop time, we may as well face that reality, and enjoy the moment to the fullest when we are in it. It is heartening to hear from people so much younger than I who are learning this early in life. We will retain memories, and we can't predict which ones, but if we are thankful for what God gives us throughout our days, all the memories will include Him.
Thanks Gretchen for your thoughtful reply (and for your generous support!). I also feel that others stories provide helpful encouragement, much more so than a list of reasons or tips would offer. That is an interesting reflection on childhood memories - I take almost no photos now but simply enjoy the time we spend together (although I do appreciate some visual reminders of our trips). Thank you for sharing your gained insights; it is always a pleasure to hear from you:)
I let myself doom-scroll the Unreal City of Twitter about once a month to remind myself why I stay away. I find the battles being fought there only really matter if you ontologically accept the purpose and existence of such platforms, but if you step away for any length of time, they fizzle and dissolve. If everyone allowed or forced him or herself to detox from the Internet a month or more, I am convinced half of the Culture War being waged daily thereon would likewise evaporate.
Been sort of out of pocket for a couple of weeks, Ruth. But just wanted to say that this article really got my attention. While we only have one FB account, which we use to keep track of long ago friends (I’m 70 and retired now) and grandkids photos, even that is too much sometimes. I use to post my substacks on there but I don’t even do that any longer. My biggest struggle is putting my phone away, but working on that as well. @daniel petty has encouraged me with his post last week on his progress with digital detox. Refreshing to see such a young man have that outlook.
Cork, glad to hear that you found the article thought-provoking. Yes, Daniel serves as a helpful encourager and I hope that his shared experience will serve to inspire others. I have come across countless young people who wish to rid themselves from their dependency on phones; I think people intrinsically want to maintain a close connection to real people and places.
I loved this piece, Ruth, especially the story about the technician—my eyes widened as I read it! I left IG several months ago and have found it to be so liberating. It felt as if my brain could finally function the way it was supposed to and that my creativity grew. I had believed that I had kept IG in just a small pocket of my life, but I soon realized that it had taken up residence in so much of my mind and heart. While some people can keep IG as a part of their life without letting it consume them, I found I couldn't and simply had to cut ties. I'm grateful for all the wisdom you have provided on this subject. Your writing encouraged me to write my own piece about social media: https://laradentremont.substack.com/p/does-social-media-make-us-like-dorian
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lara. I think social media requires a stern eviction notice from our hearts. I am glad to hear that you find encouragement in my writing and think that your excellent piece hits the spot!
Having been through the process many times myself, I can't help feeling that the people just deleting apps or deactivating social media accounts are doomed to failure. It always creeps back in. A hard DELETE was the only way for me. It took months as well for my mind to stop spontaneously viewing the world in 'sharable moments', complete with tweetable captions. Now I shudder to think of all the things I 'shared' (or overshared) with everyone I knew, or thought I knew. Since switching back to a 'dumb' phone, over a year ago, now I often don't even remember to switch it on or take it with me. Now all I can see are family, friends and strangers still hopelessly addicted. I would never, ever go back.
I agree with you Carrie. I am grateful that I never got a phone at all and simply arranged my life around the little inconveniences this poses. I feel that all form of social media casts a net over reality, with nodes of images or conversation we think we could share online. Even substack has this effect, from which I am trying to disentangle myself somewhat...
I’ve noticed that Notes is becoming too much for me, also. You’re the first person I’ve heard giving voice to that. Truthfully, it’s another feed. Thank you so much for including me in this list; I’m excited to explore the work of other writers who are navigating life away from the darkness of doomscrolling.
For me it is much too potent a feed - people are interesting, curious, encouraging, and oh so nice; it's a lethal combination (in a positive way) but makes it even so much harder to stay away. Thus my choice to end my presence on Notes.
Much respect for that technician! I find myself increasingly interested in the rejection of technology. Cut off social media years ago now, but there's more to be done. Some neighbors keep their TV in the closet—revolutionary!
Thanks for your post. I think people are starting to realize that we let technology control us.
Hugely looking forward to where you are taking your Substack Ruth, and so grateful for all you do in reflecting, sharing and inspiring. Delighted you’re taking a deeper dive here, and note (!) your withdrawing from participating in Notes - I’ve caught myself needing to watch the effect of this and the chat functionality here, in terms of being similar to that of other socials. 🙏🏻❤️
I found Notes much more potent than other social media because it allowed for true interactions with people who are intelligent, curious, and encouraging. The effect of receiving notifications, likes, and comments, while also giving likes and comments, sucks way too attention and time out of the day. There are simply too many other things I want to do in the real world and people around me that I want to pay attention too.
I permanently deleted instagram this summer (after much hand wringing) & now my only reaction is why didn’t I do this years ago!? Seems incredibly silly that I had so much internal strife now that I’m on the other side and free from its tentacles.
I remember my dad yelling at me to turn off the tv or stereo or the Atari and do my homework. Now my kid has to do much of his homework on the same machine where he watches videos, plays games and listens to music. It was even worse in the pandemic when that was how he “attended” school. He’s a diligent student but even Odysseus had to be tied down to resist the sirens.
Your technician is my new hero.
Atari - haha, those were the days. My father was one of the first in Switzerland to open up a computer store in 1986 - so I learned to type my name on a Commodore 64. We try and separate devices for use, so that entertainment and school work do not get mixed up, but it certainly is a Herculean effort.
My elementary school had an early computer lab. All the Commodore 64 was good for was playing ‘Walk Like an Egyptian’. Mostly we fought over the Apple so we could play Oregon Trail.
Yes, the straw! Thank you. There is a book out there called "Tethered" by CM Collins, 2018. In it he posits the story of Daedalus and his son Icarus is a story about the clever tech of one generation killing the next. I think the genius of even the earliest writers seeing this is a very good lesson for our sophisticated, technical world.
Love! Love! Love! I am a software tester at an IT company, and both myself and my officemate have dumb phones. The conversations among many of my colleagues center around rejecting technology in our personal lives, being present in reality and returning to the land. Seeing technology from the inside has made me more and more convinced that we must break free from our addiction to it and refocus our gaze in reality. Thank you for sharing!
Do you mind me asking, do you ever miss smartphones when you’re out and about, for maps and finding out if something is open? I know I used to live without this luxury but in this instance I don’t know how!
I don't even have a dumbphone. When I go somewhere unknown I look up the directions at home and draw a map or note street names (we also don't have GPS). I only borrow my husband's phone for emergency use when driving long distances in snow storm weather. When in a bind I will ask to borrow someone's phone for a moment. On the whole it is a very small inconvenience; I think we easily overestimate our need for a phone on the go and fail to recognize how frequently it prevents us from finding other, simple solutions.
I don't have a smartphone, and when I was driving to visit my daughter at her new home, I took a wrong exit and stopped at a convenience store to buy a map. Of course, they didn't sell maps. So I asked the girl at the counter how to get on a particular road. She said, "Can't you use your phone???" I said I didn't have a smartphone, and she was baffled. She had no idea how to direct me to a main road. I drove on to a fast food restaurant and asked an older gentleman, and he easily told me how to get the road I was looking for. Most people don't even know how to navigate their local roads because they're so dependent on their phones.
What about a camera? I have two young children and out-of-town family, so that’s the other big reason I haven’t ditched the smartphone yet. Thoughts?
We still have several digital cameras that work perfectly and you can upload pictures from there. Alternatively you can simply use a phone but uninstall apps. You may also consider taking the phone along for camera use on some outings, but otherwise just leave it behind - without the need to capture anything it is easier to enjoy your time.
This is helpful. I know I won’t miss it once I lose it but there’s so much “what if” ahead of time 🙃
What a wonderful list of resources. Thank you for including me! I also recommend HearthandField.com and FrontPorchRepublic.com to anyone interested in reading more about these things!
Yes, those are superb publications!
I'm glad you think so! I'll be at the FPR conference in October; maybe I'll meet you there (I think I remember you mentioning going?).
So good, Ruth. I’ve been off IG for 8 weeks, and miss some aspects of it, but honestly, not much. It’s made me really re-think who I considered to be “friends” online. I live in a very rural place, with no nearby neighbors and often thought of social media as a way to connect, when I’m so isolated. But being off IG for two months has made me realize the connections online weren’t what I thought they were. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Thanks for your note Stacy. That sounds like a challenging situation, when you have to weigh online connection against isolation. I think the snippets we send each other have the semblance of connection but also take us away from developing deeper relationships in real life. I am trying to imagine myself in your situation and think if I had no one around me I would likely call my friends by phone quite a bit, use the online world to connect with real life friends and family via skype, and make a regular effort to meet with neighbours that are nearest to me. The effect that social media platforms have on me, even when used infrequently, is that they hold a tether to my mind and heart, slightly shifting my perceptions and thoughts toward morsels that could be shared. I don’t like that. I want to redirect my thoughts and heart fully to my surroundings, where I can have a tangible effect. I noted that you interview women who live on rural farms on your substack - have you considered having a monthly zoom meeting together to chat and share experiences? In a situation like yours where you are literally in the middle of nowhere, this form on real-life-online compromise might be a valuable connection. Just thinking out loud... All the best :)
I had the same experience, Stacy. That was the hardest part about leaving IG, but like you said, it made me realize what a true friend truly is. If they followed me off social media in order to remain friends, then I realized that friendship was truly an important one. As for the ones that I never heard of again, I realized that perhaps that wasn't as much of a friendship at all. It was a hard aspect to process through.
There is such a fine line between liberating yourself from technology and giving up all the benefits. I like to strike a balance with periods away from the digital sphere, where I can enjoy nature or conversation, and periods where I'm very immersed. For me, this works really well.
Yes, it is a fine line. I think for adults who have grown up immersed in the real world this line is easier to draw.
As a Gen Xer, I have one foot firmly planted in the "before times."
Thank you, Ruth, for sharing all the stories, from your own technician's story down through all the people who related their experiences during the May detox. I'm glad to have them to read now, a couple of months later, when I needed the encouragement of the community to keep pursuing my goals. The painting at top is perfect for our group -- I feel it is a real community, of the sort who would definitely know how to make the most of a summer picnic together in one physical place, leaving our devices at home! Instead, we mostly inspire one another to be present with the ones we're with, but that is very good, too.
Some years ago I began to realize, not completely on my own, about the reality of childhood memories, and how vain an attempt it is to try to "make a memory" by crafting events for one's children to experience and then photographing the whole thing to assist the memory. Young children tend to remember events during which something unexpected (unplanned) happened, creating drama among the parties involved, and often strong emotions and reactions. A beautiful day with a beautiful birthday cake and everything going smoothly can't compete. There are plenty of opportunities for unintentionally making memories, in any household where children and adults work and play alongside for hours every day, and children learn lessons and love just from simple, humble days with their parents and siblings.
Related to this, I particularly appreciated the letter from Stephanie at The Coffee Shop, because she ruminated on the grief of time passing too quickly, and how we try to capture moments with our cell phone cameras. I do this a lot, especially since becoming a widow, though I have always had a sort of documentarist compulsion, to record something about everything. The thing is, I always know that using my camera constantly takes part of my away from whatever or whomever I am photographing -- and I am becoming more aware of that all the time, especially since the lockdowns separated me from so many people. Now when I am with someone and able to look into her face and listen to her voice, it seems so precious an encounter. I don't want to steal from the moment in hopes of having that thing I stole in the future. Besides which, the world is now smothered in flat images, and that glut has somehow cheapened them and made them boring.
As Stephanie said, we can't stop time, we may as well face that reality, and enjoy the moment to the fullest when we are in it. It is heartening to hear from people so much younger than I who are learning this early in life. We will retain memories, and we can't predict which ones, but if we are thankful for what God gives us throughout our days, all the memories will include Him.
Thanks Gretchen for your thoughtful reply (and for your generous support!). I also feel that others stories provide helpful encouragement, much more so than a list of reasons or tips would offer. That is an interesting reflection on childhood memories - I take almost no photos now but simply enjoy the time we spend together (although I do appreciate some visual reminders of our trips). Thank you for sharing your gained insights; it is always a pleasure to hear from you:)
I let myself doom-scroll the Unreal City of Twitter about once a month to remind myself why I stay away. I find the battles being fought there only really matter if you ontologically accept the purpose and existence of such platforms, but if you step away for any length of time, they fizzle and dissolve. If everyone allowed or forced him or herself to detox from the Internet a month or more, I am convinced half of the Culture War being waged daily thereon would likewise evaporate.
Yes, I have not read any news sites or social media commentary at all since the beginning of Lent. I am not missing it and feel much less aggravated.
Thanks also the reference, Ruth. I am encouraged to see so many like-minded writers in the Stacks.
Been sort of out of pocket for a couple of weeks, Ruth. But just wanted to say that this article really got my attention. While we only have one FB account, which we use to keep track of long ago friends (I’m 70 and retired now) and grandkids photos, even that is too much sometimes. I use to post my substacks on there but I don’t even do that any longer. My biggest struggle is putting my phone away, but working on that as well. @daniel petty has encouraged me with his post last week on his progress with digital detox. Refreshing to see such a young man have that outlook.
Cork, glad to hear that you found the article thought-provoking. Yes, Daniel serves as a helpful encourager and I hope that his shared experience will serve to inspire others. I have come across countless young people who wish to rid themselves from their dependency on phones; I think people intrinsically want to maintain a close connection to real people and places.
I loved this piece, Ruth, especially the story about the technician—my eyes widened as I read it! I left IG several months ago and have found it to be so liberating. It felt as if my brain could finally function the way it was supposed to and that my creativity grew. I had believed that I had kept IG in just a small pocket of my life, but I soon realized that it had taken up residence in so much of my mind and heart. While some people can keep IG as a part of their life without letting it consume them, I found I couldn't and simply had to cut ties. I'm grateful for all the wisdom you have provided on this subject. Your writing encouraged me to write my own piece about social media: https://laradentremont.substack.com/p/does-social-media-make-us-like-dorian
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lara. I think social media requires a stern eviction notice from our hearts. I am glad to hear that you find encouragement in my writing and think that your excellent piece hits the spot!
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Having been through the process many times myself, I can't help feeling that the people just deleting apps or deactivating social media accounts are doomed to failure. It always creeps back in. A hard DELETE was the only way for me. It took months as well for my mind to stop spontaneously viewing the world in 'sharable moments', complete with tweetable captions. Now I shudder to think of all the things I 'shared' (or overshared) with everyone I knew, or thought I knew. Since switching back to a 'dumb' phone, over a year ago, now I often don't even remember to switch it on or take it with me. Now all I can see are family, friends and strangers still hopelessly addicted. I would never, ever go back.
I agree with you Carrie. I am grateful that I never got a phone at all and simply arranged my life around the little inconveniences this poses. I feel that all form of social media casts a net over reality, with nodes of images or conversation we think we could share online. Even substack has this effect, from which I am trying to disentangle myself somewhat...
I’ve noticed that Notes is becoming too much for me, also. You’re the first person I’ve heard giving voice to that. Truthfully, it’s another feed. Thank you so much for including me in this list; I’m excited to explore the work of other writers who are navigating life away from the darkness of doomscrolling.
For me it is much too potent a feed - people are interesting, curious, encouraging, and oh so nice; it's a lethal combination (in a positive way) but makes it even so much harder to stay away. Thus my choice to end my presence on Notes.
Godspeed. I am with you, Ruth.
Much respect for that technician! I find myself increasingly interested in the rejection of technology. Cut off social media years ago now, but there's more to be done. Some neighbors keep their TV in the closet—revolutionary!
Thanks for your post. I think people are starting to realize that we let technology control us.
Hugely looking forward to where you are taking your Substack Ruth, and so grateful for all you do in reflecting, sharing and inspiring. Delighted you’re taking a deeper dive here, and note (!) your withdrawing from participating in Notes - I’ve caught myself needing to watch the effect of this and the chat functionality here, in terms of being similar to that of other socials. 🙏🏻❤️
I found Notes much more potent than other social media because it allowed for true interactions with people who are intelligent, curious, and encouraging. The effect of receiving notifications, likes, and comments, while also giving likes and comments, sucks way too attention and time out of the day. There are simply too many other things I want to do in the real world and people around me that I want to pay attention too.