The pursuit of outsourcing more and more of our lives so we can try to find some comfortable center where we only do what we want to do, when exactly we want to do it. Of course, when we get there, we hate it and ourselves.
During a period of unemployment I viewed my time as what I could give and guard. I told a new friend I would pick up the phone whenever needed. This was high commitment because they traveled for work, and often drove to airports and sites at awful hours, both by design and scheduling error. These calls could be several hours long, but ensured they did not fall asleep at the wheel.
Thanks for the article! I definitely was one of the children of parents who panicked when my husband and I got married at 19 & 20 (respectively). One commitment I’ve made for this year is cooking at home even when the day has been rough. Previously, if we were sick, super busy, or something crazy happened dinner wasn’t going to be made by me. So far, I’ve completed my goal through some sickness and pipes freezing, its been really trying on me, but it is so worth sitting down together at the end of hard days to something home cooked, even if its chicken nuggets!
Home-cooked meals are a simply yet wonderful commitment! I recall a day last year when our elecrticity went out for a few hours and we had a bread, cheese, and salami candlelight dinner which tasted much better than pizza:)
The irony, is that we have no issue as a society committing to things that make life “easier”. Food delivery, multiple subscriptions, prescription medications that dull the senses and reduce our cravings, self-medicating with other drugs and devices.
But to your point, it’s more that messy maybe that is the problem and the ability to clearly say no to things that don’t matter so we can say yes to what does. I wrote about this recently, looking at my daughter and my father as guides. I will share it here for those interested. https://kathekon.substack.com/p/if-on-a-summers-day-a-daughter
Thank you Ruth for your thoughtful words. As a pre-internet human, i have wondered about the unreliability of many - even business people - these days. Like someone you hire to wash windows who just "flakes out" and never shows up. This seems to be becoming the norm. My friends in their 60s and 70s have also noticed the same; it is really quite strange to us. I vaguely figured it had something to do with the universal near-constant absorption in "screen" technology, but your perception and explanation of the trending lack of commitment makes sense of it; puts it into better focus. I think the addictive nature of screens may short-circuit peoples' normal brainwaves. And the radiofrequency radiation interferes with the delicate electrical signaling which regulates our brain. We know that brainwaves can be measured with EEGs. This artificial radiation is affecting all of us.
I concur absolutely. Just yesterday, I had someone ask me to get an estimate from a business for work I had no intention of hiring them to do. It really rubbed me the wrong way, because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. I said No, I won't do that. It also taught me about the weak morals of the person making the request.
I very much liked and enjoyed your article. I truly appreciate it. Thank you!
I also believe endless choice is misleading, and I trust in spiritual independence and engaging in a lifelong quest for truth, ever deeper and liberating.
my mentor always said that friendship, true friendship, is key.
Oh my, this resonated. I am committed in relationships and most consumer choices (I wavered on some furnitures here and there) but I have a hard time staying loyal to a PLACE because I always feel that "it's better elsewhere".
After our recent move in the fall (that we are trying to undo before next summer the latest, and return to where we were), I learnt my lesson. Social media definitely contributed to this, because now I can know what kind of a city/village/beach/etc is absolutely wherever, and that's clearly setting off some weird FOMO in me.
This essay helps me so much! I guess I didn't realise what was really happening and thought all my disturbance was my fault. I now see I am part of a phenomenon that is infecting people around the world. Thank you so very much for your wonderful ability to put large and complex concepts into words we all can understand and benefit from. Love!
Great article! Thank you for sharing it. I appreciated that you offered humility as an antidote to our lack of fidelity. Along with commitment issues, I wonder if postmodernism is at the root of our culture's desire for affluence--even if (and maybe especially when) we don't have the necessary knowledge or wisdom to own a right to that affluence. I mention this because I've been thinking about our culture's [lack of] commitment to being life-long learners in favor of being experts. If we don't believe in a finite truth, then we can all be self-proclaimed experts in whatever field we want. In which case, humility would be one antidote to that as well.
Very insightful essay. You put into words so many things I have been thinking about lately. A major one being the importance of making decisions… like you mentioned, especially “good” decisions.
Looking forward to sharing this with friends and family
Thanks for sharing our work Leven. In case you are looking for further reading, "The Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz is an insightful book when it comes to how we make decisions.
Wow, look at all the positive and constructive comments! Peco and Ruth, you have created an online community of people who communicate with respect and thoughtfulness.
The notes of low commitment seem like a variation on the theme of meaningful humanity that you have been developing with article after article. High commitment deteriorates into low commitment when there's a breakdown in truth—what people believe.
One of my theology professors at Phoenix Seminary, Dr. Wayne Grudem, highlighted how our beliefs influence our behavior. I had never recognized this connection before.
This is my favorite Substack. It anchors reality when I get caught up in technological rabbit holes (e.g., Bitcoin research, WSJ headlines, or random self-help promoting). Thank you for your hard work.
I pray, God, that You will continue to bless The School of the Unconformed, watch over Ruth and Peco's family, protect their children, and shield their minds from the devil's lies. Help us live meaningfully, intentionally, and with high commitment!
Joshua, thanks so much for your encouraging words and prayer! Peco and I are grateful to hear that you find value in our work and it helps to hear readers say it (the articles take a lot of effort and time and so getting feedback is helpful). We hope to be able to continue to build not just an online community, but encourage people to spread these seeds into the real world. All the best to you and your family!
The pursuit of outsourcing more and more of our lives so we can try to find some comfortable center where we only do what we want to do, when exactly we want to do it. Of course, when we get there, we hate it and ourselves.
"Of course, when we get there, we hate it and ourselves." The modern irony we all struggle with!
"Of course, when we get there, we hate it and ourselves". Perfectly put Michael!
I made a best friend in my 30s.
During a period of unemployment I viewed my time as what I could give and guard. I told a new friend I would pick up the phone whenever needed. This was high commitment because they traveled for work, and often drove to airports and sites at awful hours, both by design and scheduling error. These calls could be several hours long, but ensured they did not fall asleep at the wheel.
A beautiful and intellectually rich essay. Thank you.
Thanks for reading Gary!
Thanks for the article! I definitely was one of the children of parents who panicked when my husband and I got married at 19 & 20 (respectively). One commitment I’ve made for this year is cooking at home even when the day has been rough. Previously, if we were sick, super busy, or something crazy happened dinner wasn’t going to be made by me. So far, I’ve completed my goal through some sickness and pipes freezing, its been really trying on me, but it is so worth sitting down together at the end of hard days to something home cooked, even if its chicken nuggets!
Home-cooked meals are a simply yet wonderful commitment! I recall a day last year when our elecrticity went out for a few hours and we had a bread, cheese, and salami candlelight dinner which tasted much better than pizza:)
The irony, is that we have no issue as a society committing to things that make life “easier”. Food delivery, multiple subscriptions, prescription medications that dull the senses and reduce our cravings, self-medicating with other drugs and devices.
But to your point, it’s more that messy maybe that is the problem and the ability to clearly say no to things that don’t matter so we can say yes to what does. I wrote about this recently, looking at my daughter and my father as guides. I will share it here for those interested. https://kathekon.substack.com/p/if-on-a-summers-day-a-daughter
Thank you Ruth for your thoughtful words. As a pre-internet human, i have wondered about the unreliability of many - even business people - these days. Like someone you hire to wash windows who just "flakes out" and never shows up. This seems to be becoming the norm. My friends in their 60s and 70s have also noticed the same; it is really quite strange to us. I vaguely figured it had something to do with the universal near-constant absorption in "screen" technology, but your perception and explanation of the trending lack of commitment makes sense of it; puts it into better focus. I think the addictive nature of screens may short-circuit peoples' normal brainwaves. And the radiofrequency radiation interferes with the delicate electrical signaling which regulates our brain. We know that brainwaves can be measured with EEGs. This artificial radiation is affecting all of us.
I concur absolutely. Just yesterday, I had someone ask me to get an estimate from a business for work I had no intention of hiring them to do. It really rubbed me the wrong way, because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. I said No, I won't do that. It also taught me about the weak morals of the person making the request.
I very much liked and enjoyed your article. I truly appreciate it. Thank you!
I also believe endless choice is misleading, and I trust in spiritual independence and engaging in a lifelong quest for truth, ever deeper and liberating.
my mentor always said that friendship, true friendship, is key.
Wonderful article.
Great read, thank you.
Oh my, this resonated. I am committed in relationships and most consumer choices (I wavered on some furnitures here and there) but I have a hard time staying loyal to a PLACE because I always feel that "it's better elsewhere".
After our recent move in the fall (that we are trying to undo before next summer the latest, and return to where we were), I learnt my lesson. Social media definitely contributed to this, because now I can know what kind of a city/village/beach/etc is absolutely wherever, and that's clearly setting off some weird FOMO in me.
So excited to see this post! I'm looking forward to reading this when my eyes are a bit more recovered!
This essay helps me so much! I guess I didn't realise what was really happening and thought all my disturbance was my fault. I now see I am part of a phenomenon that is infecting people around the world. Thank you so very much for your wonderful ability to put large and complex concepts into words we all can understand and benefit from. Love!
Great article! Thank you for sharing it. I appreciated that you offered humility as an antidote to our lack of fidelity. Along with commitment issues, I wonder if postmodernism is at the root of our culture's desire for affluence--even if (and maybe especially when) we don't have the necessary knowledge or wisdom to own a right to that affluence. I mention this because I've been thinking about our culture's [lack of] commitment to being life-long learners in favor of being experts. If we don't believe in a finite truth, then we can all be self-proclaimed experts in whatever field we want. In which case, humility would be one antidote to that as well.
Very insightful essay. You put into words so many things I have been thinking about lately. A major one being the importance of making decisions… like you mentioned, especially “good” decisions.
Looking forward to sharing this with friends and family
Thanks for sharing our work Leven. In case you are looking for further reading, "The Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz is an insightful book when it comes to how we make decisions.
Wow, look at all the positive and constructive comments! Peco and Ruth, you have created an online community of people who communicate with respect and thoughtfulness.
The notes of low commitment seem like a variation on the theme of meaningful humanity that you have been developing with article after article. High commitment deteriorates into low commitment when there's a breakdown in truth—what people believe.
One of my theology professors at Phoenix Seminary, Dr. Wayne Grudem, highlighted how our beliefs influence our behavior. I had never recognized this connection before.
This is my favorite Substack. It anchors reality when I get caught up in technological rabbit holes (e.g., Bitcoin research, WSJ headlines, or random self-help promoting). Thank you for your hard work.
I pray, God, that You will continue to bless The School of the Unconformed, watch over Ruth and Peco's family, protect their children, and shield their minds from the devil's lies. Help us live meaningfully, intentionally, and with high commitment!
Joshua, thanks so much for your encouraging words and prayer! Peco and I are grateful to hear that you find value in our work and it helps to hear readers say it (the articles take a lot of effort and time and so getting feedback is helpful). We hope to be able to continue to build not just an online community, but encourage people to spread these seeds into the real world. All the best to you and your family!
Thank you so much!