Just wanted to say how much I love the artwork in your articles. The paintings give such a sense of peace and non-digitalness (even though they're coming through pixels!) that they inspire me to put into practice all the suggestions here.
Thank you! I truly enjoy discovering pieces that fit, and it helps me to try and reflect on the deeper message of the writing. I also feel that it helps to give the eyes a nice rest in between thoughts. Glad you found some inspiration :)
Ruth, thanks for this. I needed a bit of a wakeup call today. I have done fairly well (no social media, no apps, etc...) but when I get on Substack time just disappears. I really hope they implement that print to PDF function because then I could just print my inbox and go read away from the screen. Blessings to you and yours in this new year. I really wish I could swing the Camino trip. It has been on my bucket list forever.
Yes, Substack is its own little timewarp...I've decided to simply read less because I would also like to spend more time reading books, and then there is the rest of life to attend to. PDFs are great for breakfast time reading; I will often select the text and drop it into Word, minimize images, and make good use of the page spacing.
Would love to have you along on the Camino! It is most definitely a most extraordinary pilgrimage and I am very excited to be able to return to it after twenty years, this time together with my family.
I loved this, Ruth! I too have found myself increasingly irritable and hurried in general terms without specific cause and I've spent much of the last year wondering how much of that is tied to life spent online. It strikes me that the real challenge for some of us (especially those of us who already have some firm boundaries in place) is not saying no to bad things online, but actually saying no to some of the good things it can offer. I'm still discerning this for myself, but I know that I do love Sundays where I don't check email or 'interact' very much, if at all.
Irritable, yes. And I am not generally an irritable person, which is what made me want to commit to a different online mode. When I can get it all done in one sitting, it leaves the rest of the day free and my mood unmanipulated. Leaving the good behind is definitely much harder but has simply become necessary for me. "Don't touch the computer" Sundays most certainly help to slow down. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kerri :)
It’s so tricky to balance internet use when so much of our lives are online! For me, living rural meant that most of my friends live in the computer - and over time this became true for my kids as well. We love tech and the internet, yet we also seek to be more discerning around it.
I do agree that my time awareness is so much better in analog mode. Maybe this is the trick—stacking tasks that must be done online to set times/days, so that I can disconnect more often, without worry that I’m forgetting something important.
Agreed! It is terribly tricky, especially when useful tasks are on the same device. I have found that after designating a morning office hour, it has become much easier. Getting comfortable with the fact that messages do not need to be checked and responded to immediately also helps. People can't text me because I don't have a cell phone. My friends know to reach me by landline and leave a message, or send an e-mail. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and all the best :)
I've seen quite a few people talking about reclaiming their lives from social media and the internet lately (something I'm working on myself), but you articulate a lot of the thoughts/feelings I've had about it particularly well. I especially like, "When I spend too much time on the internet, my inner voice takes the form of “online words” directed at “online people”. I know what you're talking about, and it's so disturbing when you catch yourself at it. Best of luck to you, your family, and readers, in striking a healthy balance.
Glad to hear that you found my writing helpful Solana. Yes, I think paying attention to where we direct our inner conversation is a good indicator for where our heart lies. All the best to you as well :)
I feel exactly the same way. Throughout the late summer, I started getting the feeling as if I were sick and tired of everything. A little examination revealed to me that what I was sick and tired of was my life being nothing but a continual barrage of scrolling and clicking here and there. I wanted something more -- I still want something more. I keep wanting the freedom to go out and walk, but, alas, we can't do that anymore because our neighborhoods aren't as safe as they used to be a few decades ago. The times we are living in are strangling us. Sometimes I get so frustrated at not being able to cut my screen time that I want to dump my phone in the trash and be done with the horrible thing altogether. And here's another thing: as someone who deals with anxiety, I have found myself using it as a coping mechanism for it (e.g. I will hopelessly and endlessly click on it as a way to keep my mind occupied).
I agree with you that time is lost when I'm on my phone. That fact is proven by how an hour seems SO long when I'm not using my phone, but so short when I am. We definitely do need to break up -- the trouble is I can't seem to do it. Any tips? I have tried turning it off for an hour but I forgot to do it after one day.
I think it is immensely difficult to limit checking behaviour. One simple step is to delete apps from your phone or switch to an interface that makes it look like a dumbphone (some of my daughter's friends have done this). Designating a particular "office hour" where you can read messages or scroll, but otherwise keeping it in a location like a landline phone. There are some more ideas in "How to Make a Home for Humans" that you might find useful as well. https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/beyond-managing-screen-time-how-. It is not easy, but it is worth the effort!
Good for you, Ruth! I often note to myself that the work of responding to e-mails and comments and such throughout the day might be less distracting if handled in a single batch once or twice a day. A strict office hour is a great idea.
I used to do this when I started out, but then the lines blurred. I just rediscovered what a tremendous difference it makes to only check messages once a day. Publication days are a bit of a challenge, but otherwise this should work. I am planning on sharing more details of daily scheduling in the Unconformed Education section (where I'll also include some of the comments you have shared with me previously).
"Breaking up witht he internet" while still using is indeed a bit like "the sound of one hand clapping", but clear lines turn it back into a tool rather than a constant presence.
The lines blurred. Exactly. This just happens unless you are being really careful. I think it's true in many areas of life, in fact -- we can overestimate our innate self-discipline and underestimate the need for and usefulness of self-imposed guardrails.
Thank you Ruth. This showed up in my email box right as I was contemplating how I’m noticing that I’ve actually started to lose respect for people I once admired because they keep using social media and keep filling it with content even art. I’m an irregular user so I cannot help but notice just how much advertising there is now. It’s obscene. The frog has long been boiled in the pot. Instagram knows I have sleep issues and other particular details of my life and is always using these details as a way to try and sell me something.
I’m cautious with what I write on there for this very reason, yet in email (Gmail) I’ve written privately to a couple friends that my partner and I were struggling. Or is it the cookies in my web browser related to doing couples NVC training. Either way my Instagram feed has turned to endless solicitations of dating sites and what I can only describe as hyper-sexualized porn traps. I tend to think women really don’t understand just how corrosive this is for many men and relationships. The site seems not only hungry for us to break up but actually is encouraging it and sees a monetary advantage to that.
It feels like I am engaged with a purely satanic force that makes me miserable and sadly also makes me think far less of my fellow humans.
(I’m going to email you three ads that were in my Instagram feed from less than one minute of scrolling just so you know just how dark, dangerous, and grotesque this game has really gotten.)
We deserve so, so much better, our time is so valuable and so wasted.
Thank you for speaking to that. May 2025 be the year of humanity’s online exodus.
Thanks for sharing your experience Randall. What you have sent me is downright creepy and very unsettling. It makes me think that the internet is designed for entrapment, leading us into directions we would never have considered were we not constantly tempted and lured along. Will reflect on this further. Thanks again and yes we do deserve so much better!
Without designating a single chunck of time during the day, I could easily spend the entire day either reading, researching, responding. Substack seems healthy because it has wonderful, intelligent, and interactive writers, but there truly can be too much of a good thing. It's easy to drop things that are bad for us, it's much harder to leave the good behind... Hope you are settling in well in your new home :)
I have spent decades doing CAD drafting, and about 20 years ago I started standing up when I work. Back and posture problems disappeared, and I tend to walk about much much more frequently. At this point, though, I am fighting tinnitus and heart palps from the idiot meter put on the house in 2019, so I think about walking away daily. I also TURN OFF THE BREAKER AT NIGHT, it makes all the difference in my sleep quality. 5G causes low blood oxygen, for starters. best
"I want to read more books2 and articles that I can hold in my hand. I have found a striking difference in my engagement with articles when I print them out to read3. I can underline things, ponder them, keep them for later reference."
Me too! If I find an article I love, I'll send it to my e-mail and print it later to read so I can underline and highlight and make comments in the margins.
How I came across this article on my email?I have no idea. I resonate with the need to unplug. I think I have an inner amish desire to be simplified and not attached to electronics. I recently I'm gotten rid of my internet at my home. Although I still need my phone for work. Going back to the nineteen eighties is not a problem for me, but this new generation is struggling. The Amish style of living seems to be the healthiest. Anyway I prefer that route.
It’s a first day of kindergarten moment re-enacted endlessly for us as the teacher… “See me…” “I need…” “Teacher, can I…”. There is never a stop in the barrage and no time to relate 1 idea to others, to hover on a thought to test it, to savour, to see if it complements or distresses other ideas I have tasted. Such a living stoicism of less is more when I go slow to not only go fast, but also to get my thinking to somewhere worth being. Thanks for your encouragement Ruth.
Recently I’ve been overwhelmed by all the wonderful writing and ideas I read on substack. To help me be more selective in where I put my time I would love writers to make a deceleration at the beginning of their piece if they have used AI in their writing.
I want to read the thoughtfully crafted and sometimes messy words of the authentic human brain.
Yes, agreed. Some writers have started to add a “AI-free” badge, and you can rest assured that anything you read on School of the Unconformed has sprung forth from an “authentic human brain” :)
Perfect timing Ruth!! I just canceled my subscription to Netflix and YouTube and packed my laptop away, not to be taken out until next weekend (either Saturday or Sunday, but not both.) I have made a commitment to take back my life from the screen. If I end up canceling my subscription to your Substack, please know your wisdom has guided me to spend more time in the real world and with books, and you have made a tremendous impact on my well being. Blessings to you (and Peco too!) May we all come alive and thrive in 2025!!
I’ve realized that I’ve started to look at reading fascinating articles and Substack posts almost like a job that I feel I have to do. I somehow twisted it in my brain that I can start my day AFTER I’ve read this and that and this other thing and hang on a second there’s something else that I wanna read. It’s bizarre and weird and your post helped me really drill down on that.
I’ve had success with keeping a paper list of things I have to do online and then strictly following them, but the next challenge is when I wake up in the morning and get my coffee and open my email I’m sucked in to this insane world of too many options of brilliant people that I want to follow and listen to. I have not done the printing things off bit and I’m gonna try that, but it always comes down to being disciplined by time and really adhering to it. This is a struggle, but like others have commented , I’ve noticed more and more people over the last year, coming to the same realization that this is not the way we are meant to live.
I know, there is simply too much reading! My days started much more simply before Substack, and I am hoping to recapture a more sane routine to start the day. Thanks for reading (and I won't feel offended if you read less often:)
Just wanted to say how much I love the artwork in your articles. The paintings give such a sense of peace and non-digitalness (even though they're coming through pixels!) that they inspire me to put into practice all the suggestions here.
Thank you! I truly enjoy discovering pieces that fit, and it helps me to try and reflect on the deeper message of the writing. I also feel that it helps to give the eyes a nice rest in between thoughts. Glad you found some inspiration :)
Yes! I love them too & they are always so befitting to the writing…though they make my heart ache a little for a different slower way of life.
Ruth, thanks for this. I needed a bit of a wakeup call today. I have done fairly well (no social media, no apps, etc...) but when I get on Substack time just disappears. I really hope they implement that print to PDF function because then I could just print my inbox and go read away from the screen. Blessings to you and yours in this new year. I really wish I could swing the Camino trip. It has been on my bucket list forever.
Yes, Substack is its own little timewarp...I've decided to simply read less because I would also like to spend more time reading books, and then there is the rest of life to attend to. PDFs are great for breakfast time reading; I will often select the text and drop it into Word, minimize images, and make good use of the page spacing.
Would love to have you along on the Camino! It is most definitely a most extraordinary pilgrimage and I am very excited to be able to return to it after twenty years, this time together with my family.
I loved this, Ruth! I too have found myself increasingly irritable and hurried in general terms without specific cause and I've spent much of the last year wondering how much of that is tied to life spent online. It strikes me that the real challenge for some of us (especially those of us who already have some firm boundaries in place) is not saying no to bad things online, but actually saying no to some of the good things it can offer. I'm still discerning this for myself, but I know that I do love Sundays where I don't check email or 'interact' very much, if at all.
Irritable, yes. And I am not generally an irritable person, which is what made me want to commit to a different online mode. When I can get it all done in one sitting, it leaves the rest of the day free and my mood unmanipulated. Leaving the good behind is definitely much harder but has simply become necessary for me. "Don't touch the computer" Sundays most certainly help to slow down. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kerri :)
It’s so tricky to balance internet use when so much of our lives are online! For me, living rural meant that most of my friends live in the computer - and over time this became true for my kids as well. We love tech and the internet, yet we also seek to be more discerning around it.
I do agree that my time awareness is so much better in analog mode. Maybe this is the trick—stacking tasks that must be done online to set times/days, so that I can disconnect more often, without worry that I’m forgetting something important.
Agreed! It is terribly tricky, especially when useful tasks are on the same device. I have found that after designating a morning office hour, it has become much easier. Getting comfortable with the fact that messages do not need to be checked and responded to immediately also helps. People can't text me because I don't have a cell phone. My friends know to reach me by landline and leave a message, or send an e-mail. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and all the best :)
I've seen quite a few people talking about reclaiming their lives from social media and the internet lately (something I'm working on myself), but you articulate a lot of the thoughts/feelings I've had about it particularly well. I especially like, "When I spend too much time on the internet, my inner voice takes the form of “online words” directed at “online people”. I know what you're talking about, and it's so disturbing when you catch yourself at it. Best of luck to you, your family, and readers, in striking a healthy balance.
Glad to hear that you found my writing helpful Solana. Yes, I think paying attention to where we direct our inner conversation is a good indicator for where our heart lies. All the best to you as well :)
I feel exactly the same way. Throughout the late summer, I started getting the feeling as if I were sick and tired of everything. A little examination revealed to me that what I was sick and tired of was my life being nothing but a continual barrage of scrolling and clicking here and there. I wanted something more -- I still want something more. I keep wanting the freedom to go out and walk, but, alas, we can't do that anymore because our neighborhoods aren't as safe as they used to be a few decades ago. The times we are living in are strangling us. Sometimes I get so frustrated at not being able to cut my screen time that I want to dump my phone in the trash and be done with the horrible thing altogether. And here's another thing: as someone who deals with anxiety, I have found myself using it as a coping mechanism for it (e.g. I will hopelessly and endlessly click on it as a way to keep my mind occupied).
I agree with you that time is lost when I'm on my phone. That fact is proven by how an hour seems SO long when I'm not using my phone, but so short when I am. We definitely do need to break up -- the trouble is I can't seem to do it. Any tips? I have tried turning it off for an hour but I forgot to do it after one day.
I think it is immensely difficult to limit checking behaviour. One simple step is to delete apps from your phone or switch to an interface that makes it look like a dumbphone (some of my daughter's friends have done this). Designating a particular "office hour" where you can read messages or scroll, but otherwise keeping it in a location like a landline phone. There are some more ideas in "How to Make a Home for Humans" that you might find useful as well. https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/beyond-managing-screen-time-how-. It is not easy, but it is worth the effort!
Thank you so much!
Good for you, Ruth! I often note to myself that the work of responding to e-mails and comments and such throughout the day might be less distracting if handled in a single batch once or twice a day. A strict office hour is a great idea.
I used to do this when I started out, but then the lines blurred. I just rediscovered what a tremendous difference it makes to only check messages once a day. Publication days are a bit of a challenge, but otherwise this should work. I am planning on sharing more details of daily scheduling in the Unconformed Education section (where I'll also include some of the comments you have shared with me previously).
"Breaking up witht he internet" while still using is indeed a bit like "the sound of one hand clapping", but clear lines turn it back into a tool rather than a constant presence.
The lines blurred. Exactly. This just happens unless you are being really careful. I think it's true in many areas of life, in fact -- we can overestimate our innate self-discipline and underestimate the need for and usefulness of self-imposed guardrails.
Excited to read more in good time!
Thank you Ruth. This showed up in my email box right as I was contemplating how I’m noticing that I’ve actually started to lose respect for people I once admired because they keep using social media and keep filling it with content even art. I’m an irregular user so I cannot help but notice just how much advertising there is now. It’s obscene. The frog has long been boiled in the pot. Instagram knows I have sleep issues and other particular details of my life and is always using these details as a way to try and sell me something.
I’m cautious with what I write on there for this very reason, yet in email (Gmail) I’ve written privately to a couple friends that my partner and I were struggling. Or is it the cookies in my web browser related to doing couples NVC training. Either way my Instagram feed has turned to endless solicitations of dating sites and what I can only describe as hyper-sexualized porn traps. I tend to think women really don’t understand just how corrosive this is for many men and relationships. The site seems not only hungry for us to break up but actually is encouraging it and sees a monetary advantage to that.
It feels like I am engaged with a purely satanic force that makes me miserable and sadly also makes me think far less of my fellow humans.
(I’m going to email you three ads that were in my Instagram feed from less than one minute of scrolling just so you know just how dark, dangerous, and grotesque this game has really gotten.)
We deserve so, so much better, our time is so valuable and so wasted.
Thank you for speaking to that. May 2025 be the year of humanity’s online exodus.
Thanks for sharing your experience Randall. What you have sent me is downright creepy and very unsettling. It makes me think that the internet is designed for entrapment, leading us into directions we would never have considered were we not constantly tempted and lured along. Will reflect on this further. Thanks again and yes we do deserve so much better!
The wisdom of an 'office hour' is becoming ever increasingly clear and I am likely to follow your lead, Ruth.
Without designating a single chunck of time during the day, I could easily spend the entire day either reading, researching, responding. Substack seems healthy because it has wonderful, intelligent, and interactive writers, but there truly can be too much of a good thing. It's easy to drop things that are bad for us, it's much harder to leave the good behind... Hope you are settling in well in your new home :)
I have spent decades doing CAD drafting, and about 20 years ago I started standing up when I work. Back and posture problems disappeared, and I tend to walk about much much more frequently. At this point, though, I am fighting tinnitus and heart palps from the idiot meter put on the house in 2019, so I think about walking away daily. I also TURN OFF THE BREAKER AT NIGHT, it makes all the difference in my sleep quality. 5G causes low blood oxygen, for starters. best
"I want to read more books2 and articles that I can hold in my hand. I have found a striking difference in my engagement with articles when I print them out to read3. I can underline things, ponder them, keep them for later reference."
Me too! If I find an article I love, I'll send it to my e-mail and print it later to read so I can underline and highlight and make comments in the margins.
same! I have done this with both essays and poems and it's a lovely experience either way.
How I came across this article on my email?I have no idea. I resonate with the need to unplug. I think I have an inner amish desire to be simplified and not attached to electronics. I recently I'm gotten rid of my internet at my home. Although I still need my phone for work. Going back to the nineteen eighties is not a problem for me, but this new generation is struggling. The Amish style of living seems to be the healthiest. Anyway I prefer that route.
It’s a first day of kindergarten moment re-enacted endlessly for us as the teacher… “See me…” “I need…” “Teacher, can I…”. There is never a stop in the barrage and no time to relate 1 idea to others, to hover on a thought to test it, to savour, to see if it complements or distresses other ideas I have tasted. Such a living stoicism of less is more when I go slow to not only go fast, but also to get my thinking to somewhere worth being. Thanks for your encouragement Ruth.
Recently I’ve been overwhelmed by all the wonderful writing and ideas I read on substack. To help me be more selective in where I put my time I would love writers to make a deceleration at the beginning of their piece if they have used AI in their writing.
I want to read the thoughtfully crafted and sometimes messy words of the authentic human brain.
🧠 x
Yes, agreed. Some writers have started to add a “AI-free” badge, and you can rest assured that anything you read on School of the Unconformed has sprung forth from an “authentic human brain” :)
I had felt as much. A wonderful human brain! Thanks for sharing it with us 😆😘
Perfect timing Ruth!! I just canceled my subscription to Netflix and YouTube and packed my laptop away, not to be taken out until next weekend (either Saturday or Sunday, but not both.) I have made a commitment to take back my life from the screen. If I end up canceling my subscription to your Substack, please know your wisdom has guided me to spend more time in the real world and with books, and you have made a tremendous impact on my well being. Blessings to you (and Peco too!) May we all come alive and thrive in 2025!!
I’ve realized that I’ve started to look at reading fascinating articles and Substack posts almost like a job that I feel I have to do. I somehow twisted it in my brain that I can start my day AFTER I’ve read this and that and this other thing and hang on a second there’s something else that I wanna read. It’s bizarre and weird and your post helped me really drill down on that.
I’ve had success with keeping a paper list of things I have to do online and then strictly following them, but the next challenge is when I wake up in the morning and get my coffee and open my email I’m sucked in to this insane world of too many options of brilliant people that I want to follow and listen to. I have not done the printing things off bit and I’m gonna try that, but it always comes down to being disciplined by time and really adhering to it. This is a struggle, but like others have commented , I’ve noticed more and more people over the last year, coming to the same realization that this is not the way we are meant to live.
Thank you Ruth, you’re a gem!
I know, there is simply too much reading! My days started much more simply before Substack, and I am hoping to recapture a more sane routine to start the day. Thanks for reading (and I won't feel offended if you read less often:)