At the beginning of the Lenten season, Peco and I extended an invitation to our readers to join in a “Communal Digital Fast” and shift focus onto feasting on the Real.
I shared this on a different Substack a while back, so I'll copy here:
I remember reading a while back about a person who, before he went on the internet in any capacity, wrote down on a piece of paper what he was going online for. He'd cross things off like a checklist and then log off.
At that time, I thought it was a little nutty, but in the years since, it's increasingly wise. I don't do it every time, but having a clear sense for why I'm logging on and what I'm logging on to accomplish helps me to remember the technology is supposed to be there as a tool to help me with an intended purpose or task.
I came across the strategy you describe in J.E. Peterson's post on "The Notebook Rule". It definitely seems like a very helpful method, but requires a lot of dedication.
I used this at the start, then found I didn't need to. It was one of the rules I relaxed partway through. But I think it would be a good one going forward- it creates more mindfulness and a little barrier to impulse.
When I'm good about doing it, there is a big difference. Not only in how much time I spend on the internet, but in how much actually gets accomplished.
I didn’t specifically give up anything for a digital fast. The tech I rely feels too essential for getting through my daily challenges, whether that’s GPS giving me driving directions or podcasts helping me sleep and/or connect with conversations essential to my sanity.
What I did do was spend a lot of time on activities that are not tech-connected, like hand-sewing, crochet, dancing. It was an add in rather than a take-away.
Mine ended up being like this too. I added more time to read physical books and worked on a massive cross-stitch project that my husband bought for me. I’m still working on better boundaries with some tech, but focusing on what I was adding really helped!
I'm in the process of creating a Digital Rule of Life, post-fast, which has me asking all kinds of questions of myself right now. I'm looking forward to reading the responses here.
It was, unsurprisingly, a fruitful time. In moments of boredom or margin, I was much more apt to pick up my pen, an art medium, a book of poetry, or any of the multitude of books I've got in process. I went for more walks, went outside on the front porch for breathers, and found myself noticing the emergence of spring at such a level of intensity it poured forth in other ways. I wrote poems for the first time in a long while, drafted the majority of my write by hand, created new-to-me art forms, and read more books aloud to my children than I had in the previous year.
I think in the end, what I'm realizing is that my non "cold turkey" approach means that there's a bit more nuance every time I depart from certain digital practices (because not all are entirely gone) --- like each time I have the opportunity to go deeper by letting go of more, being more curious, or trying for more intentionality.
I was curious to find that I noticed an uptick in my laptop use as the time went on. I'd intended to set "office hours" or days for times when I'd sit to work, email, read substacks, etc, but often there was a bit of bleeding from those utilities into other things. Which has me now more certain then ever that I *do* need office hours AND a clear list of objectives when I sit down to work on the computer. I read anew or revisited several books on digital minimalism, use, and ethics -- along with focus. I'm hoping to utilize the wisdom gleaned from my own experiences and those who've written (and still write) extensively on the subject to continue refining my digital use.
In full candor -- my boys are currently playing thirty minutes of Kirby on the Nintendo Switch after six weeks of no video games (which they only played 1-3x a month before that). They've completed their school and chores for the day, made art, and played outside for a bit, and though I'm tempted to feel "a disturbance in the force," I (and they) know now an increasing fortitude and resourcing thanks to the practice of digital departures.
Oh! One of my favorite practices I’ll likely keep as often as I can was writing down directions to places I didn’t already know how to get to and then giving them to my kids to teach them when and how to guide me. I showed them how to read mileage on the odometer and call out street names as we passed by them. It was a lot of fun and a joy to go GPS-less most of the time!
Hello Lenten comrades! I currently have Covid (for the first time ever!) after singing at a folk festival over the weekend, so I'm not sure how lucid I will be, but here goes.
I initially set a limit of 20 minutes of Internet access twice a day. That seemed like enough time to check messages, emails, etc. I used an alarm to keep to time. If I was really immersed in something, I could hit the snooze button for ten more minutes: thus the absolute maximum was an hour a day online. I also made a rule that I had to do something else in the morning before going online- going outside, doing tasks etc., and set a cut-off time of 8 p.m. I often finished before my time limit was up, or only went on once a day, say if I was out in the evening. I stayed off the book of face and Substack Notes.
I also gave up coffee and alcohol. Both of these renunciations happened of their own accord. I didn't plan them, but I was overdue for a proper reset, and it felt like 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. I also stopped eating sugar for the most part, and tried to cook proper meals. (I stopped eating late in the evenings, too, which was interesting when I was hanging out with Muslim friends, as they were observing Ramadan- not eating UNTIL the evening!)
After only a few days without this trifecta of addictive substances- Internet, coffee, alcohol- my anxiety levels dropped perceptibly. It felt like a return to a previous self / life. I felt calm and at ease. I didn't experience cravings. (I was offered alcohol many times: my stock response was "I'm off the sauce.") I got a feeling I sometimes get at folk festivals or in the wild- a feeling that this is the real world and I am my real self, a sense of both immanent magic and relaxed presence. I went out and did things, read books, wrote some letters, and phoned people up.
I also stopped reading the news, both online and in newspapers etc. Regarding the news, I noticed how other people told me things- the big news reached me that way. When I was out and about, I would hear the news on the radio in a shop, or see a newspaper, and notice my anxiety levels rising.
I felt happy to be following other people who were on the fast too- Caroline Ross and Dougald Hine. There was a kind of solidarity in knowing that other people were in the boat with me. However, in day to day life I felt more acutely than usual the gap between my Luddite life and the tech-saturated lives of others, and that felt somewhat painful and lonely.
If I think about what didn't work, I think I had expected it to be more difficult than it was, so I made some rules that I then relaxed when I realised I didn't need them, such as logging out of everything, and using the Notebook rule when I was writing on Substack (that one just messed with my flow).
When I told people what I was doing, I had a range of responses. Most people seemed to feel it was a very big deal and extremely difficult.
Any addictive behaviour has its roots in emotion. Addictions are generally escapism from unpleasant feelings, but they only work imperfectly and in the short term. The reason it was easy for me not to cheat was that I felt so much better for knocking off my bad habits, therefore I was able to see more clearly the feelings that were driving me to avoidant behaviour in the first place and the cyclical nature of those behaviours once in play. I tried to pay attention to what was happening in my body. With the lucidity gained from sobriety and with my cortisol levels low, it was very apparent when I was engaging in something that made me feel worse rather than better.
One of the most interesting things for me was observing how multiple bad habits feed each other: stopping one meant stopping the others. I drank ceremonial whisky at my friend's wake, but aside from that I am still not drinking alcohol. I have started drinking coffee sometimes as I am far less anxiety-prone. I am unsure whether I will continue with sobriety, but I intend to continue to limit my Internet use going forward. This experiment has only hardened my Luddite resolve. I feel that I have broken the backs of my bad habits, put my money where my mouth is, and proven to myself that the real world is a better place to inhabit.
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experience Rosie! Interesting to hear about the drop in your anxiety levels. Although I have never been anxious, I experienced a slowing down and stretching of time. Also resonate with your point about not reading news and finding solidarity with others who were following the fast as well. Will be sure to share your insights in our follow-up. Also, hope you feel better soon :)
I should say that I don't have a smartphone, so by most people's standards I am already a low-tech person. That has been my main strategy for controlling Internet use, but I am also someone who spends a lot of time at home, and now that I am writing on Substack, I do that work sitting at my desktop computer, so the Internet is often right there as I work.
I also don't have a smartphone and it most definitely helps as my internet time is limited to actually sitting on the computer. But even so I find the need to physically remove it so as not to have it at my fingertips...
Mine went only slightly better than I’d planned. I had some commitments on social media that I had to post, and found myself scrolling more often. But, I’ve stopped charging my phone in my bedroom (this I’ll keep!) and it’s helpful because now when I wake up (to an actual alarm clock) I don’t immediately reach for my phone to scroll on Substack or through emails. I think I’ll also be going back to using social media via my computer and not on my phone all the time, as well as time off on the weekends. I’m still working toward a balance of being online and not letting it use all my time, but taking things off my phone really helps and making it harder to reach for my phone (like in the morning) has also been a huge help!
Thanks for sharing your experience Taylor. Moving the phone out of the bedroom and moving social media onto the computer most definitely seem helpful. I don't have a phone, and am grateful that I can just tuck my laptop away in my husband's office to keep it out of easy reach.
It was a small thing, but I gave up during Lent what was becoming a time-sucking habit online: starting my day playing Wordle and other games on the New York Times website. Going forward, I'm limiting myself to once a week on the NYT games, like on Sunday afternoons. Jettisoning the daily games definitely opened up a space for more quiet time, reading and talking with my wife over that first cup of coffee.
I too have struggled with the New York Times games because they are so addictive and can really distract one. I play Wordle daily because I’m in a big group with family members and we share our results and it’s kind of a fun check in and I play connections, but I had to give up spelling bee Because I came to the horrible realization that I was totally obsessed with it. For me playing a game online has to be one that you either get it that day or you’re through. Spelling bee you can keep it wide open and keep going back to it with no end and I realize that is too much of a temptation for me. Good luck!
Ouch! my rationale for the Epoch Times games I play daily has been "Keeping the old brain active" but I'm not running a brain marathon and could easily cut it down to one
a day and spend more time in the garden, going for a walk, writing a letter. etc.
As an older person who lived most of my life in the "Before Times", I am enjoying recovering some of the goods of that type of life. Your substack is lovely.
these games enticing. I had to laugh because we also got into sharing our daily Wordle score with family members. It does feel good to limit myself. Good luck to you as well!
For me, this Lent was a return to classic literature (on the page and in my earbuds as audio books). I’m currently early-on into The Count of Monte Cristo and am delighted that I’ll be able to enjoy that world (and learn some history) for so many more pages!
Well, as usual, mixed results over here. Keeping Safari off my phone is a helpful boundary and results in me using my nursing time to pray or read more often. I also don’t google things when I’m anxious. This is a keeper.
I have realized I need some more stringent guidelines with Substack. Adding in another publication has been a lot more than I expected. I like it, but something may have to give. I’m trying to determine if I can just alternate posting schedules. Regardless, my rule of not getting on until after 1 pm is a very good one. I had to do this with Instagram as well when I was on. And while content wise, I find Substack more wholesome, it’s just as much or more of a time suck. So I think I’m going to experiment with taking 2 days off entirely. I determined when thinking this through that if I publish on Tues (food/health) and Friday (writing) then I have no excuse to not take Wed and Sun completely off. I just need more time to forget that the Internet exists. I also realized that posting research heavy content on Monday is bad for our family Sunday, so that needs to shift.
And I’ve determined that it’s just not realistic to post while moving so I may just take a whole month off and pause subscriptions. It’s just so easy for me to try to escape difficult emotions this way. The writing itself can be helpful, but the ancillary “stuff” has a continual creep.
And, overall I have again observed the pattern that when things are difficult emotionally, or my kids are especially needy (or both), I tend to reach for escapism, and while it makes me feel a little better it worsens the overall tenor of things considerably.
In terms of life, the goal for this month is to take a walk every day that we are not leaving the house for any set commitments (so three times a week). We’re backing way off on formal schoolwork for everyone’s sanity, but I’ve noticed that as we’re more preoccupied with moving and so many big changes my children desperately need connection and ways to work out their big feelings (and actually I do too). We went for a walk and found all the first flowers today and then I rolled people up like burritos in blankets (sensory hack — but they think it’s a fun game 😆) and they are a little less nutty now.
I guess I’m just realizing over and over that we have to tend to our bodies, and our bodies live in the real world.
Thanks for sharing your reflections Anneliese. I very much resonate with the "need for more stringent guidelines with Substack" - it is a wonderful platform, but it too removes time from reality around us. I have no idea how you manage two publications (let alone the frequency); my children are much older and even so I have slowed down to a bi-weekly type schedule. Good idea to take a pause while you prepare for your move. All the best with your packing !
Haha jury’s still out on whether I’m “managing” or not. I do notice a significant difference in the type of content and how long it takes to draft. I had a good weekly rhythm where I would collect bits and pieces throughout the week and then compile the finished draft quite quickly, but the research intensive pieces for the new ‘stack are a totally different type of writing, and take more time. So just adjusting as I go.
I experienced the creep, too! Drafting away from Substack helped some but I found myself sometimes scrolling for things to read and engage with — which I think to some degree is fine but I know in my gut when it’s too much and I felt that some, off and on!
I can't wait to read about the fruits of this Lent for those who participated. Thank you for leading this and reaching out about results!
As I was watching the incense rise in church yesterday, I was thinking of how much I want this Easter to be a true Resurrection in my life, a rebirth after a challenging year. Easter is so freeing, such a joyful invitation to live life in the belief that "Alleluia is our song!" So for me, although I didn't make any tech changes over Lent, I hope to make changes in this Easter season, to live with greater trust in God's goodness (I'm thinking of Kerri Christopher's recent post on a better version of an abundance mindset! https://www.substack.claritylifeconsulting.com/p/are-you-discerning-from-scarcity).
Easter is indeed such a joyful event and a reminder of where to direct our attention most fervently. Thanks for sharing Kerri's piece - will save it for reading later :)
I'm very glad that Ruth and Peco have a Substack like this. I've been struggling with anger and hopelessness, even as an Evangelical Christian, for some time now. Most of the anger is directed at other "Christians", but I won't waste time elaborating about that here.
I've been searching for an approach to keep the weight of the sins of the entire world being delivered on my doorstep every hour.
All of this to say, I appreciate what is being done in this Substack, it's unique and appreciated. I like the idea of designating certain days or hours for internet use. I'll report back here on any success or problems.
So glad to hear that you find what we share of value and find encouragement in our writing. A couple of years ago I would often start my morning with reading news (and other burdens of the world), but realized that I just felt aggravated, a feeling that could stay on unnecessarily. I stopped reading news regularly last Lent (2023) and only come across headlines while at the gym, if news are discussed as part of an article I am reading, or if someone else draws my attention to it. This has been very helpful as I am not missing anything really and I can focus much better on what is actually happening around me. Would certainly like to hear back from you about your experience :)
“I've been searching for an approach to keep the weight of the sins of the entire world being delivered on my doorstep every hour.”
Or every minute for that matter! Our aim, here, has been to focus on problems only to discern them more clearly, and then to move toward solutions and productive ways forward. I’m glad you’ve found some value in this, as we’ve tried very hard to hone this approach over time, both within this Substack but more fundamentally in how we approach life.
Ironically, I didn't hear about this until now because I had already cut back on my digital consumption. By now, I think we all know the truth: the more we shun artifice and embrace experiences that are unmediated by electronic devices, the happier and healthier we are.
During Lent, I took Facebook off my phone. Within one day, my mind felt clearer. My the end of Lent, my mind and soul were cleaner. I also put a hold on the newspaper and paid less attention to the daily news. Now that Lent is over, Facebook will stay off my phone and the newspaper will move to a weekend subscription only.
Thanks for sharing Dwight! Great to hear that your experience led to some changes moving forward, and I can attest that paying less attention to daily news is most definitely salubrious :)
Lent is such a fruitful time to reset and build better habits to carry forward. I’ve found so much inspiration from the posts and comments here, looking forward to reading more! Here’s my recent piece about finding better online rhythms:
I did my usual social media fast during Lent. But I also added a few other things to fast from over the last two weeks after one of my children noticed how I "always" seemed to be listening to a podcast. I took the apple podcast app off my phone first. When that same child walked in and heard me listening to a Substack newsletter being read to me and said ,"Mom, I thought you weren't listening to podcasts anymore??", I then explained it wasn't a podcast. But that led me to take Substack off of my phone. I realized I was going to Substack as soon as I picked up my phone and checked texts or audio messages (via Voxer, Marco Polo, etc.). I also took Gmail off of my phone as I would go on there for a "hit" as well. But I think Substack has been the hardest to go without. However, I am making do...I simply read the newsletters when I get on my computer to check email. It has allowed me to only listen to audiobooks and to simply put my phone away more often in our ARO box and accumulate time spent on non-digital or non-smartphone related things.
Thanks for sharing Laura! Yes, children are indeed great tech thermometers (mine will often keep me accountable when I am on too long when working on a post).
I am embarrassed to acknowledge my 40-day Lenten challenge produced the same results in a swimmingly disorganized way that Addison Hodges Hart explains in his clear and concise plan for spiritual reading found in "The Yoke of Jesus: A School for the Soul in Solitude" (I read the book on Easter Monday). I will briefly outline his plan for interested readers, and then explain how I found the same path in a far more convoluted way for those who have more patience for my trial and error.
Addison Hodges Hart presents a spiritual reading plan as a series of five concentric circles. The first circle includes the Bible and commentaries that help us understand the text. The second includes includes a wide range of theologians and writers from all ages about Christianity. The third circle includes writings from other religions, history, philosophy, literature, poetry, and the sciences. The fourth circle includes the news of the day, and journalists who write about the world, culture, and currents. Finally, the fifth circle includes light reading, “when needed.”
I started my Lenten fast by continuing to read and study Scripture every day. Although I am a Catholic, I use the Presbyterian commentary series on the Old and New Testament published by Westminster John Knox Press. I use the Breviary and the Catholic Catechism as my traditional sources for Catholic prayer and theology, but I am also reading the Orthodox theologian Jaroslav Pelikan on Christian tradition, Quaker writer Thomas Kelly, and of course, Anglican Addison Hodges Hart! About half my time reading, studying, and using this material for prayer are spent within the first two circles. The last three ‘circles’ were the ones I struggled to organize over Lent. Before the fast, I spent far too much time reading Substacks, current magazines of all types, and newspapers. For Lent, I cut my Substack reading to my favorites, ignored the NYT, television, and radio, and read magazines more thoughtfully. I also eliminated podcasts and spent my time driving (not so pleasant) and walking in nature (much better) in silence. Without reading so much material from circle four, I was able to read more history, biology, literature, and poetry. I will continue to read more novels; I found them particularly enriching. My favorite books from ‘circle three’ during this forty-day period are the novel "My Friends" by Hisham Matar and the history book "Remembering Peasants: A Personal history of a Vanished World" by Patrick Joyce. Light reading for me broadens to include sports (yes, baseball season thoughtfully began after Easter), an occasional classical concert, and surprising delights on the internet such as watching Ilia Malinin land six quad jumps to clinch the men’s world championship in figure skating. I freely admit to engaging in light reading and activities more than “needed.”
It’s rewarding to realize that my struggles over what and how to read during Lent landed me close to the wisdom of Addison Hodges Hart!
Thanks for mentioning the concentric circles! I'd never quite thought of it that way, but it makes sense to nest literary and spiritual texts within a meaningful order.
(1) What was your experience? My wife and I plugged our phones in on a counter in the kitchen and left them there all day / night, excluding errands where they were needed. We didn't closely monitor usage time, because using them required standing in the kitchen: a pretty natural rate-limiter. I'd think: "Oh, I should look up X..." but then remember I had to go to the kitchen to do so, and my laziness was effective.
(2) What practices worked for you? Did you discover any new strategies? Just physically relocating the phone worked great for us. Just not having it on you, getting used to doing things without it, is fun; you realize how many little moments have become "phone usage" moments in your day. Finishing a task always makes me want to check my phone, for example!
(3) What was your biggest struggle? I wasn't nearly as in touch with my close friends, and this was a real, unambiguous cost. I felt more lonely, a little more anxious, and missed them.
(4) What did not work? I think it all worked pretty well!
(5) Going forward, are you planning on continuing any of your digital fasting practices? Definitely! I think we're going to keep the phones plugged in as much of the time as we can!
Thanks for sharing your experience Mills! It's great to hear that quite a small change, like where phones are kept, can wield a large impact. Your point about staying in touch with friends was raised by a few other readers as well, and I guess it speaks to how predominantly our connections are online. I see most of my friends in person, and have little to no online interaction with them (and thus did not experience a change in closeness).
Wonderful to hear that you had an overall good experience and are planning on carrying on a newfound habit. I recall your note from last year, where you lamented that it would be so easy to make this change, but yet so hard to actually follow through. One strong motivator to hold on to this phone liberation, is that it will help your little ones to follow your example :)
I shared this on a different Substack a while back, so I'll copy here:
I remember reading a while back about a person who, before he went on the internet in any capacity, wrote down on a piece of paper what he was going online for. He'd cross things off like a checklist and then log off.
At that time, I thought it was a little nutty, but in the years since, it's increasingly wise. I don't do it every time, but having a clear sense for why I'm logging on and what I'm logging on to accomplish helps me to remember the technology is supposed to be there as a tool to help me with an intended purpose or task.
I came across the strategy you describe in J.E. Peterson's post on "The Notebook Rule". It definitely seems like a very helpful method, but requires a lot of dedication.
It really does. For as many times as I'm good about following this rule, there are still too many times when I'm not!
I used this at the start, then found I didn't need to. It was one of the rules I relaxed partway through. But I think it would be a good one going forward- it creates more mindfulness and a little barrier to impulse.
I like this idea, I may try it since I have to be online for work but often get distracted by other things
When I'm good about doing it, there is a big difference. Not only in how much time I spend on the internet, but in how much actually gets accomplished.
I’m doing something similar too! It helps a lot!
That's billiant. Thank you for sharing.
I didn’t specifically give up anything for a digital fast. The tech I rely feels too essential for getting through my daily challenges, whether that’s GPS giving me driving directions or podcasts helping me sleep and/or connect with conversations essential to my sanity.
What I did do was spend a lot of time on activities that are not tech-connected, like hand-sewing, crochet, dancing. It was an add in rather than a take-away.
Yes, feasting on non-tech connected activities is a great strategy. Thanks for sharing :)
Mine ended up being like this too. I added more time to read physical books and worked on a massive cross-stitch project that my husband bought for me. I’m still working on better boundaries with some tech, but focusing on what I was adding really helped!
Agreed, me as well. I read a lot more than usual and got a knitting project finished just the night before Easter :)
I'm in the process of creating a Digital Rule of Life, post-fast, which has me asking all kinds of questions of myself right now. I'm looking forward to reading the responses here.
It was, unsurprisingly, a fruitful time. In moments of boredom or margin, I was much more apt to pick up my pen, an art medium, a book of poetry, or any of the multitude of books I've got in process. I went for more walks, went outside on the front porch for breathers, and found myself noticing the emergence of spring at such a level of intensity it poured forth in other ways. I wrote poems for the first time in a long while, drafted the majority of my write by hand, created new-to-me art forms, and read more books aloud to my children than I had in the previous year.
I shared a few "field notes" from my fast in my monthly updates in February: https://kristineneeley.substack.com/p/mixed-media-february-airmail and March: https://kristineneeley.substack.com/p/flying-faster/comments if anyone feels like seeing real-time updates.
I think in the end, what I'm realizing is that my non "cold turkey" approach means that there's a bit more nuance every time I depart from certain digital practices (because not all are entirely gone) --- like each time I have the opportunity to go deeper by letting go of more, being more curious, or trying for more intentionality.
I was curious to find that I noticed an uptick in my laptop use as the time went on. I'd intended to set "office hours" or days for times when I'd sit to work, email, read substacks, etc, but often there was a bit of bleeding from those utilities into other things. Which has me now more certain then ever that I *do* need office hours AND a clear list of objectives when I sit down to work on the computer. I read anew or revisited several books on digital minimalism, use, and ethics -- along with focus. I'm hoping to utilize the wisdom gleaned from my own experiences and those who've written (and still write) extensively on the subject to continue refining my digital use.
In full candor -- my boys are currently playing thirty minutes of Kirby on the Nintendo Switch after six weeks of no video games (which they only played 1-3x a month before that). They've completed their school and chores for the day, made art, and played outside for a bit, and though I'm tempted to feel "a disturbance in the force," I (and they) know now an increasing fortitude and resourcing thanks to the practice of digital departures.
Thanks for sharing your experience Kristine! Will be sure to glean from your insights in our follow-up post :)
Oh! One of my favorite practices I’ll likely keep as often as I can was writing down directions to places I didn’t already know how to get to and then giving them to my kids to teach them when and how to guide me. I showed them how to read mileage on the odometer and call out street names as we passed by them. It was a lot of fun and a joy to go GPS-less most of the time!
Hello Lenten comrades! I currently have Covid (for the first time ever!) after singing at a folk festival over the weekend, so I'm not sure how lucid I will be, but here goes.
I initially set a limit of 20 minutes of Internet access twice a day. That seemed like enough time to check messages, emails, etc. I used an alarm to keep to time. If I was really immersed in something, I could hit the snooze button for ten more minutes: thus the absolute maximum was an hour a day online. I also made a rule that I had to do something else in the morning before going online- going outside, doing tasks etc., and set a cut-off time of 8 p.m. I often finished before my time limit was up, or only went on once a day, say if I was out in the evening. I stayed off the book of face and Substack Notes.
I also gave up coffee and alcohol. Both of these renunciations happened of their own accord. I didn't plan them, but I was overdue for a proper reset, and it felt like 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. I also stopped eating sugar for the most part, and tried to cook proper meals. (I stopped eating late in the evenings, too, which was interesting when I was hanging out with Muslim friends, as they were observing Ramadan- not eating UNTIL the evening!)
After only a few days without this trifecta of addictive substances- Internet, coffee, alcohol- my anxiety levels dropped perceptibly. It felt like a return to a previous self / life. I felt calm and at ease. I didn't experience cravings. (I was offered alcohol many times: my stock response was "I'm off the sauce.") I got a feeling I sometimes get at folk festivals or in the wild- a feeling that this is the real world and I am my real self, a sense of both immanent magic and relaxed presence. I went out and did things, read books, wrote some letters, and phoned people up.
I also stopped reading the news, both online and in newspapers etc. Regarding the news, I noticed how other people told me things- the big news reached me that way. When I was out and about, I would hear the news on the radio in a shop, or see a newspaper, and notice my anxiety levels rising.
I felt happy to be following other people who were on the fast too- Caroline Ross and Dougald Hine. There was a kind of solidarity in knowing that other people were in the boat with me. However, in day to day life I felt more acutely than usual the gap between my Luddite life and the tech-saturated lives of others, and that felt somewhat painful and lonely.
If I think about what didn't work, I think I had expected it to be more difficult than it was, so I made some rules that I then relaxed when I realised I didn't need them, such as logging out of everything, and using the Notebook rule when I was writing on Substack (that one just messed with my flow).
When I told people what I was doing, I had a range of responses. Most people seemed to feel it was a very big deal and extremely difficult.
Any addictive behaviour has its roots in emotion. Addictions are generally escapism from unpleasant feelings, but they only work imperfectly and in the short term. The reason it was easy for me not to cheat was that I felt so much better for knocking off my bad habits, therefore I was able to see more clearly the feelings that were driving me to avoidant behaviour in the first place and the cyclical nature of those behaviours once in play. I tried to pay attention to what was happening in my body. With the lucidity gained from sobriety and with my cortisol levels low, it was very apparent when I was engaging in something that made me feel worse rather than better.
One of the most interesting things for me was observing how multiple bad habits feed each other: stopping one meant stopping the others. I drank ceremonial whisky at my friend's wake, but aside from that I am still not drinking alcohol. I have started drinking coffee sometimes as I am far less anxiety-prone. I am unsure whether I will continue with sobriety, but I intend to continue to limit my Internet use going forward. This experiment has only hardened my Luddite resolve. I feel that I have broken the backs of my bad habits, put my money where my mouth is, and proven to myself that the real world is a better place to inhabit.
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experience Rosie! Interesting to hear about the drop in your anxiety levels. Although I have never been anxious, I experienced a slowing down and stretching of time. Also resonate with your point about not reading news and finding solidarity with others who were following the fast as well. Will be sure to share your insights in our follow-up. Also, hope you feel better soon :)
I should say that I don't have a smartphone, so by most people's standards I am already a low-tech person. That has been my main strategy for controlling Internet use, but I am also someone who spends a lot of time at home, and now that I am writing on Substack, I do that work sitting at my desktop computer, so the Internet is often right there as I work.
I also don't have a smartphone and it most definitely helps as my internet time is limited to actually sitting on the computer. But even so I find the need to physically remove it so as not to have it at my fingertips...
This was really beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
Mine went only slightly better than I’d planned. I had some commitments on social media that I had to post, and found myself scrolling more often. But, I’ve stopped charging my phone in my bedroom (this I’ll keep!) and it’s helpful because now when I wake up (to an actual alarm clock) I don’t immediately reach for my phone to scroll on Substack or through emails. I think I’ll also be going back to using social media via my computer and not on my phone all the time, as well as time off on the weekends. I’m still working toward a balance of being online and not letting it use all my time, but taking things off my phone really helps and making it harder to reach for my phone (like in the morning) has also been a huge help!
Thanks for sharing your experience Taylor. Moving the phone out of the bedroom and moving social media onto the computer most definitely seem helpful. I don't have a phone, and am grateful that I can just tuck my laptop away in my husband's office to keep it out of easy reach.
It was a small thing, but I gave up during Lent what was becoming a time-sucking habit online: starting my day playing Wordle and other games on the New York Times website. Going forward, I'm limiting myself to once a week on the NYT games, like on Sunday afternoons. Jettisoning the daily games definitely opened up a space for more quiet time, reading and talking with my wife over that first cup of coffee.
I too have struggled with the New York Times games because they are so addictive and can really distract one. I play Wordle daily because I’m in a big group with family members and we share our results and it’s kind of a fun check in and I play connections, but I had to give up spelling bee Because I came to the horrible realization that I was totally obsessed with it. For me playing a game online has to be one that you either get it that day or you’re through. Spelling bee you can keep it wide open and keep going back to it with no end and I realize that is too much of a temptation for me. Good luck!
Ouch! my rationale for the Epoch Times games I play daily has been "Keeping the old brain active" but I'm not running a brain marathon and could easily cut it down to one
a day and spend more time in the garden, going for a walk, writing a letter. etc.
As an older person who lived most of my life in the "Before Times", I am enjoying recovering some of the goods of that type of life. Your substack is lovely.
I'm glad I'm not alone in finding
these games enticing. I had to laugh because we also got into sharing our daily Wordle score with family members. It does feel good to limit myself. Good luck to you as well!
For me, this Lent was a return to classic literature (on the page and in my earbuds as audio books). I’m currently early-on into The Count of Monte Cristo and am delighted that I’ll be able to enjoy that world (and learn some history) for so many more pages!
Oh that is my absolute favourite! I share in your delight to delve into those worlds :)
Well, as usual, mixed results over here. Keeping Safari off my phone is a helpful boundary and results in me using my nursing time to pray or read more often. I also don’t google things when I’m anxious. This is a keeper.
I have realized I need some more stringent guidelines with Substack. Adding in another publication has been a lot more than I expected. I like it, but something may have to give. I’m trying to determine if I can just alternate posting schedules. Regardless, my rule of not getting on until after 1 pm is a very good one. I had to do this with Instagram as well when I was on. And while content wise, I find Substack more wholesome, it’s just as much or more of a time suck. So I think I’m going to experiment with taking 2 days off entirely. I determined when thinking this through that if I publish on Tues (food/health) and Friday (writing) then I have no excuse to not take Wed and Sun completely off. I just need more time to forget that the Internet exists. I also realized that posting research heavy content on Monday is bad for our family Sunday, so that needs to shift.
And I’ve determined that it’s just not realistic to post while moving so I may just take a whole month off and pause subscriptions. It’s just so easy for me to try to escape difficult emotions this way. The writing itself can be helpful, but the ancillary “stuff” has a continual creep.
And, overall I have again observed the pattern that when things are difficult emotionally, or my kids are especially needy (or both), I tend to reach for escapism, and while it makes me feel a little better it worsens the overall tenor of things considerably.
In terms of life, the goal for this month is to take a walk every day that we are not leaving the house for any set commitments (so three times a week). We’re backing way off on formal schoolwork for everyone’s sanity, but I’ve noticed that as we’re more preoccupied with moving and so many big changes my children desperately need connection and ways to work out their big feelings (and actually I do too). We went for a walk and found all the first flowers today and then I rolled people up like burritos in blankets (sensory hack — but they think it’s a fun game 😆) and they are a little less nutty now.
I guess I’m just realizing over and over that we have to tend to our bodies, and our bodies live in the real world.
Thanks for sharing your reflections Anneliese. I very much resonate with the "need for more stringent guidelines with Substack" - it is a wonderful platform, but it too removes time from reality around us. I have no idea how you manage two publications (let alone the frequency); my children are much older and even so I have slowed down to a bi-weekly type schedule. Good idea to take a pause while you prepare for your move. All the best with your packing !
Haha jury’s still out on whether I’m “managing” or not. I do notice a significant difference in the type of content and how long it takes to draft. I had a good weekly rhythm where I would collect bits and pieces throughout the week and then compile the finished draft quite quickly, but the research intensive pieces for the new ‘stack are a totally different type of writing, and take more time. So just adjusting as I go.
I experienced the creep, too! Drafting away from Substack helped some but I found myself sometimes scrolling for things to read and engage with — which I think to some degree is fine but I know in my gut when it’s too much and I felt that some, off and on!
I can't wait to read about the fruits of this Lent for those who participated. Thank you for leading this and reaching out about results!
As I was watching the incense rise in church yesterday, I was thinking of how much I want this Easter to be a true Resurrection in my life, a rebirth after a challenging year. Easter is so freeing, such a joyful invitation to live life in the belief that "Alleluia is our song!" So for me, although I didn't make any tech changes over Lent, I hope to make changes in this Easter season, to live with greater trust in God's goodness (I'm thinking of Kerri Christopher's recent post on a better version of an abundance mindset! https://www.substack.claritylifeconsulting.com/p/are-you-discerning-from-scarcity).
Easter is indeed such a joyful event and a reminder of where to direct our attention most fervently. Thanks for sharing Kerri's piece - will save it for reading later :)
This is so encouraging to hear, Dixie!
I’m also looking forward to seeing what people share here.
I'm very glad that Ruth and Peco have a Substack like this. I've been struggling with anger and hopelessness, even as an Evangelical Christian, for some time now. Most of the anger is directed at other "Christians", but I won't waste time elaborating about that here.
I've been searching for an approach to keep the weight of the sins of the entire world being delivered on my doorstep every hour.
All of this to say, I appreciate what is being done in this Substack, it's unique and appreciated. I like the idea of designating certain days or hours for internet use. I'll report back here on any success or problems.
So glad to hear that you find what we share of value and find encouragement in our writing. A couple of years ago I would often start my morning with reading news (and other burdens of the world), but realized that I just felt aggravated, a feeling that could stay on unnecessarily. I stopped reading news regularly last Lent (2023) and only come across headlines while at the gym, if news are discussed as part of an article I am reading, or if someone else draws my attention to it. This has been very helpful as I am not missing anything really and I can focus much better on what is actually happening around me. Would certainly like to hear back from you about your experience :)
“I've been searching for an approach to keep the weight of the sins of the entire world being delivered on my doorstep every hour.”
Or every minute for that matter! Our aim, here, has been to focus on problems only to discern them more clearly, and then to move toward solutions and productive ways forward. I’m glad you’ve found some value in this, as we’ve tried very hard to hone this approach over time, both within this Substack but more fundamentally in how we approach life.
Ironically, I didn't hear about this until now because I had already cut back on my digital consumption. By now, I think we all know the truth: the more we shun artifice and embrace experiences that are unmediated by electronic devices, the happier and healthier we are.
During Lent, I took Facebook off my phone. Within one day, my mind felt clearer. My the end of Lent, my mind and soul were cleaner. I also put a hold on the newspaper and paid less attention to the daily news. Now that Lent is over, Facebook will stay off my phone and the newspaper will move to a weekend subscription only.
Thanks for sharing Dwight! Great to hear that your experience led to some changes moving forward, and I can attest that paying less attention to daily news is most definitely salubrious :)
Lent is such a fruitful time to reset and build better habits to carry forward. I’ve found so much inspiration from the posts and comments here, looking forward to reading more! Here’s my recent piece about finding better online rhythms:
https://bookishprincess.substack.com/p/seeking-reality-and-better-rhythms
Thank for sharing Emma! I saved your piece to my library :)
I did my usual social media fast during Lent. But I also added a few other things to fast from over the last two weeks after one of my children noticed how I "always" seemed to be listening to a podcast. I took the apple podcast app off my phone first. When that same child walked in and heard me listening to a Substack newsletter being read to me and said ,"Mom, I thought you weren't listening to podcasts anymore??", I then explained it wasn't a podcast. But that led me to take Substack off of my phone. I realized I was going to Substack as soon as I picked up my phone and checked texts or audio messages (via Voxer, Marco Polo, etc.). I also took Gmail off of my phone as I would go on there for a "hit" as well. But I think Substack has been the hardest to go without. However, I am making do...I simply read the newsletters when I get on my computer to check email. It has allowed me to only listen to audiobooks and to simply put my phone away more often in our ARO box and accumulate time spent on non-digital or non-smartphone related things.
Thanks for sharing Laura! Yes, children are indeed great tech thermometers (mine will often keep me accountable when I am on too long when working on a post).
I am embarrassed to acknowledge my 40-day Lenten challenge produced the same results in a swimmingly disorganized way that Addison Hodges Hart explains in his clear and concise plan for spiritual reading found in "The Yoke of Jesus: A School for the Soul in Solitude" (I read the book on Easter Monday). I will briefly outline his plan for interested readers, and then explain how I found the same path in a far more convoluted way for those who have more patience for my trial and error.
Addison Hodges Hart presents a spiritual reading plan as a series of five concentric circles. The first circle includes the Bible and commentaries that help us understand the text. The second includes includes a wide range of theologians and writers from all ages about Christianity. The third circle includes writings from other religions, history, philosophy, literature, poetry, and the sciences. The fourth circle includes the news of the day, and journalists who write about the world, culture, and currents. Finally, the fifth circle includes light reading, “when needed.”
I started my Lenten fast by continuing to read and study Scripture every day. Although I am a Catholic, I use the Presbyterian commentary series on the Old and New Testament published by Westminster John Knox Press. I use the Breviary and the Catholic Catechism as my traditional sources for Catholic prayer and theology, but I am also reading the Orthodox theologian Jaroslav Pelikan on Christian tradition, Quaker writer Thomas Kelly, and of course, Anglican Addison Hodges Hart! About half my time reading, studying, and using this material for prayer are spent within the first two circles. The last three ‘circles’ were the ones I struggled to organize over Lent. Before the fast, I spent far too much time reading Substacks, current magazines of all types, and newspapers. For Lent, I cut my Substack reading to my favorites, ignored the NYT, television, and radio, and read magazines more thoughtfully. I also eliminated podcasts and spent my time driving (not so pleasant) and walking in nature (much better) in silence. Without reading so much material from circle four, I was able to read more history, biology, literature, and poetry. I will continue to read more novels; I found them particularly enriching. My favorite books from ‘circle three’ during this forty-day period are the novel "My Friends" by Hisham Matar and the history book "Remembering Peasants: A Personal history of a Vanished World" by Patrick Joyce. Light reading for me broadens to include sports (yes, baseball season thoughtfully began after Easter), an occasional classical concert, and surprising delights on the internet such as watching Ilia Malinin land six quad jumps to clinch the men’s world championship in figure skating. I freely admit to engaging in light reading and activities more than “needed.”
It’s rewarding to realize that my struggles over what and how to read during Lent landed me close to the wisdom of Addison Hodges Hart!
Thanks for sharing your thoughtful and thorough reflections Diana! I particularly enjoyed how you categorized your reading.
Thanks for mentioning the concentric circles! I'd never quite thought of it that way, but it makes sense to nest literary and spiritual texts within a meaningful order.
(1) What was your experience? My wife and I plugged our phones in on a counter in the kitchen and left them there all day / night, excluding errands where they were needed. We didn't closely monitor usage time, because using them required standing in the kitchen: a pretty natural rate-limiter. I'd think: "Oh, I should look up X..." but then remember I had to go to the kitchen to do so, and my laziness was effective.
(2) What practices worked for you? Did you discover any new strategies? Just physically relocating the phone worked great for us. Just not having it on you, getting used to doing things without it, is fun; you realize how many little moments have become "phone usage" moments in your day. Finishing a task always makes me want to check my phone, for example!
(3) What was your biggest struggle? I wasn't nearly as in touch with my close friends, and this was a real, unambiguous cost. I felt more lonely, a little more anxious, and missed them.
(4) What did not work? I think it all worked pretty well!
(5) Going forward, are you planning on continuing any of your digital fasting practices? Definitely! I think we're going to keep the phones plugged in as much of the time as we can!
Thanks for sharing your experience Mills! It's great to hear that quite a small change, like where phones are kept, can wield a large impact. Your point about staying in touch with friends was raised by a few other readers as well, and I guess it speaks to how predominantly our connections are online. I see most of my friends in person, and have little to no online interaction with them (and thus did not experience a change in closeness).
Wonderful to hear that you had an overall good experience and are planning on carrying on a newfound habit. I recall your note from last year, where you lamented that it would be so easy to make this change, but yet so hard to actually follow through. One strong motivator to hold on to this phone liberation, is that it will help your little ones to follow your example :)