Thank you for your wisdom and linking to my essay, Ruth!
And your essay is abundant in community, humanness, ideas, and inspiration. As a person embracing sobriety from a number of things…and still recovering from others, I love this quote:
"Abstinence has gained a negative connotation in the current culture, but it may be time to reclaim the freedom that abstinence offers in the digital realm. In order to be able to commit to a life of digital abstinence, we need to actually believe in the sacred nature of humanness." Thank you!
Oh, what a cool collection of anecdotes! I didn’t do a formal digital detox in May. A lot of life stuff was going on: first, my husband had an infection that lasted about 3 weeks, which was miserable for him and cumulatively exhausting for me. This led to me driving alone with the girls to a city 3 hours away for their dance festival. Usually this would be a family road trip but my husband was on IV antibiotics and could not leave town. Now, I was thinking of my digital dependence: I made sure I printed maps out as well as using my phone GPS! (I could not find a printed map to buy: I tried). Anyway, all went well until about half an hour from destination, when the car broke down! Now obviously that was not fun, but the awesome part is we reconnected with an aunt of my husband’s I hadn’t seen in years, and whom the kids had never met since they were babies. The kindness of her and her husband turned a stressful experience for them into something joyful. And then there was all the other connectedness that happened as I told and retold my story and various people reached out to us to help haha. It was a reminder to my husband and I how important our networks are.
I think one of the insidious effects of technology is it feeds the fantasy that we don’t need other people, just our tools. This is so destructive, on so many levels. But it is tempting as it is very difficult and tiring to deal with people sometimes. But we all deep down want to live in a world where we have each other’s backs, as a wise friend of mine likes to say.
Long comment….maybe I will think a bit more about this and write my own blog!
What an eventful, challenging month this must have been Síochána! I like your line "one of the insidious effects of technology is it feeds the fantasy that we don’t need other people, just our tools" - people can indeed be tiring, but it is in human interactions that we grow and become more fully human. Would love to read more on your blog:)
This was a great read Ruth - looks like your Digital Detox idea has made a lasting impression on people and hopefully has instigated some good habits.
I have not forgotten about this initiative, it has been on my mind almost every day and has changed my patterns even if I have not yet started my own Digital Detox. Suffering from severe OCD means I need to really plan how to do this, as compulsive behaviours take even longer for me to break. I need to give myself extra mental preparation. But the events of last night have shown me just how much I need a digital detox: as I was trying to get to sleep my mind was jumping from thought to thought - just like scrolling through Social Media which kept me awake for a while. This has happened two nights in a row. I know partly this is due to how my OCD mind works but I could also see clearly how Social Media habits have exacerbated this.
Thanks for your note Hadden. Social media being its own OCD beast must make stepping away from it incredibly challenging. I would likely take it in very small bite-sized steps, changing patterns slowly in small ways as you are doing. And remaining forgiving. Many feel discouraged when they cannot keep to the rules they came up with, forgetting that we are up against a behemoth. Just as we keep sinning, tripping up in our daily lives even though we know mentally what we should be doing, we ask for forgiveness, pray, don't give up, and try to do our best the next day.
We are off to beautiful Adelboden tomorrow, hiking and absorbing God's wonderful creation (and as an added bonus no internet access for five days). If you have any favorite trails to share I'd love to hear (we enjoy hiking up Engstigenalp, and the hikes around Silleren).
Thanks for the kind words Ruth. Much wisdom there.
Enjoy the beautiful Adelboden! I have only been in the late Winter, a summer Alps trip is a dream. I enjoyed hiking from Oey to Bergläger in April and hiking back down Sillerenbühl. I saw lots of potential around Cheunisbärgli for further exploration (if only I had the time!). Keep your eyes peeled for Golden Eagles. I saw one on top of Sillerenbühl and I know Engstigenalp is a good place for them.
Thank you for the call to participate in the digital detox and for this collection of thoughts and reflections. Hopefully all the positive things each participant experienced will become momentum towards living more intentionally and more human. I know that is what it's done for me.
Thanks Daniel for having shared your experience on your own substack. Hearing specifics of what changes people have made and how it is affecting them is so useful (and interesting!). Blessings to your growing family:)
Thank you for these insights. I'm battling with this cause my smartphone has all my recent books, mostly my favourite books, plus it has a real time dashboard that helps me to run my businesses. But it's not an excuse, I do get it, one must innovate to free oneself from that addictive space. I'll share what works, perhaps down the lane.
Yes that sounds like a challenge. Going device-specific can be a helpful move -- dumb phone or landline for calls, camera, e-readers (or simply returning to books which has an added attentional benefit) etc. Separating the personal/entertainment components will likely also be helpful in keeping focused on the business use. All the best - would love to hear back!
This is fabulous, Ruth. I loved hearing about the experiences of others -- such an inspiration to divorce ourselves from the toxic relationship to digital. This essay is the kick in the butt I've been needing, so thank you so much!
As I'm working on the other three parts of my Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television series, your essay will be instrumental. So glad I discovered you! Or you discovered me, actually... :-)
Love this. Digital media have been a bit like emotional eating in my life: I turn to them when sad, stressed, etc, and the reward is nonexistent. Have tried to live by rules similar to yours: have deleted most social media, check email once a day for a specified number of minutes.
Glad you found it useful:) Emotional eating - that's a fitting analogy! It's effortful to live by rules, but couching them in a larger commitment to remain engaged in real life and real relationships helps to keep up the resolve.
Very well said. I am about to be married for the first time in over 33 years at age 73. My bride is 77. We meet online on a dating site about 32 months ago and haven't looked back. I rarely engage in social media. Most on my Internet time is done on a desktop and much of the time I spend reading articles on substack. My phone is for calls and texting only which I can go days without doing either.
Wonderful, that is great news - Congratulations on your impending wedding! I guess the last section "Get Married" seems to apply beyond the metaphoric line with you:)
"Draw lines you can believe in. Commit to returning to what makes us essentially human, even if at times you fail. Reawaken to the the freedom of limits." Now that is how you close an essay!
Ruth, thank you for taking the time to put this together and for calling us to join the challenge in the first place. It is inspiring to read the reflections of others and to have the reminder that we are not alone in this. I sincerely hope this will serve as a catalyst for others to just give the detox a try. This world of ours is truly wonderfully made and, for me, the detox was a path to reimmerse myself in the real, the true and the beautiful.
Derek, thank you also for sharing your experiences throughout the detox journey! Yes, I agree that reading others insights and reflections is inspiring and wanted to share as much as I could fit into a post. I wish you steadfastness and resolve on your continued journey:)
Thanks for the inspiration as I sit here in bed, scrolling through my phone, first thing on a Monday morning. A much-needed reminder that this is not how I want to live my life 🙏
Thank you for your wisdom and linking to my essay, Ruth!
And your essay is abundant in community, humanness, ideas, and inspiration. As a person embracing sobriety from a number of things…and still recovering from others, I love this quote:
"Abstinence has gained a negative connotation in the current culture, but it may be time to reclaim the freedom that abstinence offers in the digital realm. In order to be able to commit to a life of digital abstinence, we need to actually believe in the sacred nature of humanness." Thank you!
Thank you for your post relating your digital detox experience - you had some very interesting insights and I wished I could have shared more!
Oh, what a cool collection of anecdotes! I didn’t do a formal digital detox in May. A lot of life stuff was going on: first, my husband had an infection that lasted about 3 weeks, which was miserable for him and cumulatively exhausting for me. This led to me driving alone with the girls to a city 3 hours away for their dance festival. Usually this would be a family road trip but my husband was on IV antibiotics and could not leave town. Now, I was thinking of my digital dependence: I made sure I printed maps out as well as using my phone GPS! (I could not find a printed map to buy: I tried). Anyway, all went well until about half an hour from destination, when the car broke down! Now obviously that was not fun, but the awesome part is we reconnected with an aunt of my husband’s I hadn’t seen in years, and whom the kids had never met since they were babies. The kindness of her and her husband turned a stressful experience for them into something joyful. And then there was all the other connectedness that happened as I told and retold my story and various people reached out to us to help haha. It was a reminder to my husband and I how important our networks are.
I think one of the insidious effects of technology is it feeds the fantasy that we don’t need other people, just our tools. This is so destructive, on so many levels. But it is tempting as it is very difficult and tiring to deal with people sometimes. But we all deep down want to live in a world where we have each other’s backs, as a wise friend of mine likes to say.
Long comment….maybe I will think a bit more about this and write my own blog!
What an eventful, challenging month this must have been Síochána! I like your line "one of the insidious effects of technology is it feeds the fantasy that we don’t need other people, just our tools" - people can indeed be tiring, but it is in human interactions that we grow and become more fully human. Would love to read more on your blog:)
What a fantastic read. Thank you so much Ruth, for bringing all this together.
Thanks Lucy also for sharing your experiences - and recipes:)
Congratulations in your growing popularity! Your words are a salve for the soul.
Thanks for your kind words Paul!
This was a great read Ruth - looks like your Digital Detox idea has made a lasting impression on people and hopefully has instigated some good habits.
I have not forgotten about this initiative, it has been on my mind almost every day and has changed my patterns even if I have not yet started my own Digital Detox. Suffering from severe OCD means I need to really plan how to do this, as compulsive behaviours take even longer for me to break. I need to give myself extra mental preparation. But the events of last night have shown me just how much I need a digital detox: as I was trying to get to sleep my mind was jumping from thought to thought - just like scrolling through Social Media which kept me awake for a while. This has happened two nights in a row. I know partly this is due to how my OCD mind works but I could also see clearly how Social Media habits have exacerbated this.
Got some work to do!
Thanks for your note Hadden. Social media being its own OCD beast must make stepping away from it incredibly challenging. I would likely take it in very small bite-sized steps, changing patterns slowly in small ways as you are doing. And remaining forgiving. Many feel discouraged when they cannot keep to the rules they came up with, forgetting that we are up against a behemoth. Just as we keep sinning, tripping up in our daily lives even though we know mentally what we should be doing, we ask for forgiveness, pray, don't give up, and try to do our best the next day.
We are off to beautiful Adelboden tomorrow, hiking and absorbing God's wonderful creation (and as an added bonus no internet access for five days). If you have any favorite trails to share I'd love to hear (we enjoy hiking up Engstigenalp, and the hikes around Silleren).
Thanks for the kind words Ruth. Much wisdom there.
Enjoy the beautiful Adelboden! I have only been in the late Winter, a summer Alps trip is a dream. I enjoyed hiking from Oey to Bergläger in April and hiking back down Sillerenbühl. I saw lots of potential around Cheunisbärgli for further exploration (if only I had the time!). Keep your eyes peeled for Golden Eagles. I saw one on top of Sillerenbühl and I know Engstigenalp is a good place for them.
Thanks for the hiking tips - I made a note of them and hope to explore some new trails this year:)
Thank you for the call to participate in the digital detox and for this collection of thoughts and reflections. Hopefully all the positive things each participant experienced will become momentum towards living more intentionally and more human. I know that is what it's done for me.
Thanks Daniel for having shared your experience on your own substack. Hearing specifics of what changes people have made and how it is affecting them is so useful (and interesting!). Blessings to your growing family:)
Thank you for these insights. I'm battling with this cause my smartphone has all my recent books, mostly my favourite books, plus it has a real time dashboard that helps me to run my businesses. But it's not an excuse, I do get it, one must innovate to free oneself from that addictive space. I'll share what works, perhaps down the lane.
Yes that sounds like a challenge. Going device-specific can be a helpful move -- dumb phone or landline for calls, camera, e-readers (or simply returning to books which has an added attentional benefit) etc. Separating the personal/entertainment components will likely also be helpful in keeping focused on the business use. All the best - would love to hear back!
This is fabulous, Ruth. I loved hearing about the experiences of others -- such an inspiration to divorce ourselves from the toxic relationship to digital. This essay is the kick in the butt I've been needing, so thank you so much!
As I'm working on the other three parts of my Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television series, your essay will be instrumental. So glad I discovered you! Or you discovered me, actually... :-)
Happy to hear that you found the post helpful Mary:) Yes, happy to have discovered you as well and looking forward to more of your writing!
Love this. Digital media have been a bit like emotional eating in my life: I turn to them when sad, stressed, etc, and the reward is nonexistent. Have tried to live by rules similar to yours: have deleted most social media, check email once a day for a specified number of minutes.
Glad you found it useful:) Emotional eating - that's a fitting analogy! It's effortful to live by rules, but couching them in a larger commitment to remain engaged in real life and real relationships helps to keep up the resolve.
Very well said. I am about to be married for the first time in over 33 years at age 73. My bride is 77. We meet online on a dating site about 32 months ago and haven't looked back. I rarely engage in social media. Most on my Internet time is done on a desktop and much of the time I spend reading articles on substack. My phone is for calls and texting only which I can go days without doing either.
Wonderful, that is great news - Congratulations on your impending wedding! I guess the last section "Get Married" seems to apply beyond the metaphoric line with you:)
"Draw lines you can believe in. Commit to returning to what makes us essentially human, even if at times you fail. Reawaken to the the freedom of limits." Now that is how you close an essay!
Ruth, thank you for taking the time to put this together and for calling us to join the challenge in the first place. It is inspiring to read the reflections of others and to have the reminder that we are not alone in this. I sincerely hope this will serve as a catalyst for others to just give the detox a try. This world of ours is truly wonderfully made and, for me, the detox was a path to reimmerse myself in the real, the true and the beautiful.
Derek, thank you also for sharing your experiences throughout the detox journey! Yes, I agree that reading others insights and reflections is inspiring and wanted to share as much as I could fit into a post. I wish you steadfastness and resolve on your continued journey:)
Thanks for the inspiration as I sit here in bed, scrolling through my phone, first thing on a Monday morning. A much-needed reminder that this is not how I want to live my life 🙏
We need a National day of tech detox .