What a lovely essay, Ruth! Thank you for sharing it. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a homeschooling mother is that I too learn and grow each year in my teaching abilities. A curriculum or method than would not have been a good fit one year can become something I “grow into” with more experience. As I first started, the heavily scripted curricula that told me exactly what to do were immensely valuable. But as I develop myself, I feel more able to tackle educational methods that ask more of me, the teacher. That seems obvious now that I think of it, but was something I didn’t realize when I began.
Thanks for adding your thoughts Ivana! Yes, that is an excellent point, and I wish I would have had space to explore this more. I feel that as growth happens on the level of teacher, it also feeds a joy of being a learner oneself . Truly, homeschooling has been a re-education for me. Throughout all my years as a student or completing a Masters degree I was never as invloved in learning as I am now.
"The joy of being a learner oneself". In the one year in which I homeschooled daughter, she and I sat in front of TV, video cassette in player, from 8:30 to 10, each morning, simply because we both had so much enjoyment in "doing algebra". And with that particular program, I, who had struggled in algebra I and II, 25 years earlier, thought about the possibility of myself doing calculus. [Didn't happen, as I went back to teaching middle school Latin the following year.]
This is really enlightening. My daughter is almost 2 and we are still considering what type of schooling options we want for her. I've always been curious how people handle homeschooling their kids — what does the day to day actually look like? I like how you acknowledge that "what it looks like" will vary widely between families (and even kids), working both with the adult's preferences and the child's natural personality.
Glad to hear that you found the post useful. If you are interested in learning more practical details be sure to turn on your notifications for the Unconformed Education section where I will be sharing more posts soon :)
Ren, Catherine Oliver has a series of homeschool "days in the life" that showcase typical homeschooling days/schedules in different families with different homeschool styles. You'd probably enjoy it! Here's the link: https://howwehomeschool.substack.com/t/special-guest-editions
Thank you for sharing your experience. We homeschool our 6 kids, though 2 of them are too young for school yet. We've certainly evolved our approach over the years and our experience matches up with yours in many ways.
After COVID there was a glut of new homeschoolers and one thing I've noticed a lot of American homeschoolers do is try to make homeschooling like public school, too rigid, too many expectations on themselves, too difficult to work with others. Too much pressure and not enough fun and relationships.
Yes, I have observed this as well. I think of it as the difference between "circumstantial" and "philosophical" homeschoolers. If a family begins homeschooling as a reaction, they may try to replicate school in their home environment. However, if it is part of a whole life philosophy that places family and education at the center, learning flows much differently.
I have intentionally read only a few books about all this, but one that has shaped our family culture, that I plan to reread, is The Tech Wise Family. It’s relevant to everyone who wants to have a healthy happy family, even the most committed traditional school-goers. And it doesn’t just tell you to limit screen time. It helped me understand what a family culture could look like. I love their example of choosing to prioritize weddings and funerals, for example. I think lots of people use tech as an incentive/punishment and then try to limit it when they feel like it’s gotten out of control, and fail to get it under control. A philosophical (vs circumstantial) approach may be the only one that works, in the end.
Agreed! Tech-Wise Family is an excellent book as well and I share it in our tech resource lists, but you are right in that it also has helpful guidance in creating an overall family culture. Thanks for sharing:)
This seems very accurate. Hopefully as these new families develop confidence in their ability to home educate they can deviate from the standard classroom model and flourish in their own unique ways.
Snap the Whip -- one of my very favorite paintings!
Your point about attitude and stress is extremely important, I think. If homeschooling is a misery, it may still lead to the accumulation of knowledge and even skill, but it will be bad for the soul and the family (and indeed, it can easily stifle curiosity and imagination, too).
This is a good reminder to me as I prepare for the coming academic year.
Yes, I remember that you had mentioned that painting somewhere last year :) Indeed, if the heart is not in the right place nothing works. I need this reminder as well, and I feel that the less we are scheduled and distracted, the easier it is to bring a patient and open attitude to learning.
Something I always tell new-to-homeschooling families is that I love how each family homeschools differently; why would it be otherwise? I love how all of my homeschooling friends have their own unique ways of doing things. And like you said, sometimes seeing these strengths in others can inspire or influence us to make a necessary change to our own homeschool routine.
Thank you Ruth, for sharing your wisdom and creating this electronic garden plot for all of us! Collecting seeds of knowledge is a labor of love.
Sharing resources and experience is soul-helpful to those giving the advice. For those receiving the fruits/flowers of experienced teachers, this forum is a blessing... like you & Peco!
Thank you for this post and the lots of ideas and references in it. I have a 6-year-old starting school this September and a 3-year-old. Our extended family is full of by now retired teachers and education has been on our mind for a long time. We grew up in Hungary with my wife with both of our moms being teachers and now we live in Germany. So despite all the experience and insight we gathered there, it will be quite a new experience over here. We are very skeptical about the way western education is heading and are especially concerned about the digital devices being introduced too early. But I just give it as a background to how I ended up reading your posts. I immediately bought Bauer's The Story of the World and I cannot wait for reading it with my son.
My question is: can you (or any of the readers) suggest books about philosophy and/or the history of great ideas that are suitable for children? I am more and more subscribed to the idea outlined by Neil Postman that education should be about teaching where we come from as humanity and how we ended up here. I did not have anything like the aforementioned topics in my education and I would like my children to have this perspective as well.
Glad to hear that you found the post helpful :) There are not many curricula that are designed for younger children on philosophy, but there is one publisher that comes to mind that developed books on both Western and Eastern philosophy for children as young as kindergarten (see here under "curricula" https://www.rfwp.com/mct-language-arts/?srsltid=AfmBOorjQavvAkDOGqKVvOehFifSEV-X7DaqCGW4i8AGVD-qsBFAwCmR). I have never used these myself, but you can find out from the descriptions whether these might be a good fit for you. All the best on your educational journey!
Ruth, this is a wonderful resource, chock full of practical wisdom. I will be sharing it widely! Thank you for putting pen to paper with your own experience so that others can learn from it.
"Time to be bored and create". Children in public school, 1984-2006, but for one year of complete homeschooling with 8th grade youngest. I observed each summer, that after school year ended, a few weeks had to pass, until girls "became bored", at which point they turned to indulging their creative spirit. In particular, one summer this involved making jewelry from tumbled semiprecious stones (field trip to rock shop) and sterling silver wire. Nice stuff, real stuff resulted.
This is wonderful Ruth! Thank you. I was home-educated and I feel that it’s inevitable I will technically do that with my children (8 and 3) someday but for the moment your descriptions of life together are dear and familiar —- a vibe we are trying to cultivate in our home and one I remember from my childhood and youth. I am encouraged!
Oh my word! This is such great advice. I started homeschooling in 1996ish. I was the only one in my church and when I tried a group, there were only 13 of us in the whole city of Savannah. I have a 37 yr old daughter who went to Christian private for 3 years and a 31 year old who never attended formal school. Now I’m homeschooling 2 of my 3 grands (oldest is 15 and she’s in an online academy).
The best thing I ever read is probably no longer available - ray and Dorothy Moore, Not too early (https://www.moorefoundation.com/ ) maybe you can find it here. Please!!! All Moms, just read to your younger kids. My youngest was my most academic and I didn’t push her until 6th grade. She loved all things Shakespeare. I’m not even an academic and couldn’t enjoy it with her. She was read to, loved climbing trees and is now a self made single woman and can do whatever she wants. My oldest is also the same but has a farm, family and works from home. My motto all their homeschool years, “we are not here to learn to spew facts on a test but to learn a lifestyle of lifelong learning”. With the explosion of technology I had no idea how true that statement would become.
I read the first long book, that’d they’d ever experienced, to my grands last year, “Where the Red Fern Grows”. The youngest will spend her b-day money b-4 it arrives normally. The boy works for 2 yrs. for his dogs. I made a big deal about delayed gratification… now that 9 yr old has $300.00 dollars saved up and refuses to spend it. So much to be taught from classical books.
Relax, study your kids interests and weakness and focus on that. By weaknesses I mean, that’s where they need GENTLE instruction.
I am looking forward to following the trail of recommended resources you've mentioned here. I was public schooled and married a homeschooler. We have both been fully-committed to homeschooling from the first, but I have found my own lack of experience and practice in self-direction, the discipline of being consistent, and isolated academia a real curve-ball. I struggle with getting going in the morning, and I know this is something I'll have to master. Thank you for the encouragement. "A set time for waking and learning", I think will be key for us.
Hi Alicia, hope that you'll find some practical encouragement among the resources. I think having a regular routine makes truly everything possible. For us, going for a brief neighbourhood walk just after breakfast worked wonders. It made us feel that we were arriving at "school" upon our return and helped the transition from breakfast to learning. Also, starting the learning period with a common math game, memory work, or read-aloud set a positive tone for the rest of the morning. For younger children, keeping it "simple and sane" is the key, and trusting that small consistencies over time develop into great learning habits. All the best :)
Thank you for this post! I’m eager to hear more as I’m just starting out homeschooling my 1st grader and Kindergartener. We are planning to start on Monday!
I have read a few of the books on your list and would also highly recommend the book Patterns for Life: An Orthodox reflection on Charlotte Mason by Lisa Rose and Laura E. Wolfe. It was fantastic- I’d recommend it to any Christian parent- whether or not they are Orthodox and whether or not they intend to homeschool. So much wisdom about life and parenting and being a follower of Christ.
Thanks for adding that recommendation Caroline! Wonderful to have you along and hope that you'll find encouragement and practical inspiration along the way. I'll be hosting a curriculum "show and tell" for paying subscribers that might be of interest to you as well :)
What a lovely essay, Ruth! Thank you for sharing it. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a homeschooling mother is that I too learn and grow each year in my teaching abilities. A curriculum or method than would not have been a good fit one year can become something I “grow into” with more experience. As I first started, the heavily scripted curricula that told me exactly what to do were immensely valuable. But as I develop myself, I feel more able to tackle educational methods that ask more of me, the teacher. That seems obvious now that I think of it, but was something I didn’t realize when I began.
Thanks for adding your thoughts Ivana! Yes, that is an excellent point, and I wish I would have had space to explore this more. I feel that as growth happens on the level of teacher, it also feeds a joy of being a learner oneself . Truly, homeschooling has been a re-education for me. Throughout all my years as a student or completing a Masters degree I was never as invloved in learning as I am now.
"The joy of being a learner oneself". In the one year in which I homeschooled daughter, she and I sat in front of TV, video cassette in player, from 8:30 to 10, each morning, simply because we both had so much enjoyment in "doing algebra". And with that particular program, I, who had struggled in algebra I and II, 25 years earlier, thought about the possibility of myself doing calculus. [Didn't happen, as I went back to teaching middle school Latin the following year.]
This is really enlightening. My daughter is almost 2 and we are still considering what type of schooling options we want for her. I've always been curious how people handle homeschooling their kids — what does the day to day actually look like? I like how you acknowledge that "what it looks like" will vary widely between families (and even kids), working both with the adult's preferences and the child's natural personality.
Glad to hear that you found the post useful. If you are interested in learning more practical details be sure to turn on your notifications for the Unconformed Education section where I will be sharing more posts soon :)
You bet!
Ren, Catherine Oliver has a series of homeschool "days in the life" that showcase typical homeschooling days/schedules in different families with different homeschool styles. You'd probably enjoy it! Here's the link: https://howwehomeschool.substack.com/t/special-guest-editions
Thank you, I'll check it out!
Thank you for sharing your experience. We homeschool our 6 kids, though 2 of them are too young for school yet. We've certainly evolved our approach over the years and our experience matches up with yours in many ways.
After COVID there was a glut of new homeschoolers and one thing I've noticed a lot of American homeschoolers do is try to make homeschooling like public school, too rigid, too many expectations on themselves, too difficult to work with others. Too much pressure and not enough fun and relationships.
Yes, I have observed this as well. I think of it as the difference between "circumstantial" and "philosophical" homeschoolers. If a family begins homeschooling as a reaction, they may try to replicate school in their home environment. However, if it is part of a whole life philosophy that places family and education at the center, learning flows much differently.
I have intentionally read only a few books about all this, but one that has shaped our family culture, that I plan to reread, is The Tech Wise Family. It’s relevant to everyone who wants to have a healthy happy family, even the most committed traditional school-goers. And it doesn’t just tell you to limit screen time. It helped me understand what a family culture could look like. I love their example of choosing to prioritize weddings and funerals, for example. I think lots of people use tech as an incentive/punishment and then try to limit it when they feel like it’s gotten out of control, and fail to get it under control. A philosophical (vs circumstantial) approach may be the only one that works, in the end.
Agreed! Tech-Wise Family is an excellent book as well and I share it in our tech resource lists, but you are right in that it also has helpful guidance in creating an overall family culture. Thanks for sharing:)
I like that... circumstances vs philosophy
This seems very accurate. Hopefully as these new families develop confidence in their ability to home educate they can deviate from the standard classroom model and flourish in their own unique ways.
I'll take the paywall down from my post so that your readers can read the full essay. Thank you for sharing it!
Snap the Whip -- one of my very favorite paintings!
Your point about attitude and stress is extremely important, I think. If homeschooling is a misery, it may still lead to the accumulation of knowledge and even skill, but it will be bad for the soul and the family (and indeed, it can easily stifle curiosity and imagination, too).
This is a good reminder to me as I prepare for the coming academic year.
Yes, I remember that you had mentioned that painting somewhere last year :) Indeed, if the heart is not in the right place nothing works. I need this reminder as well, and I feel that the less we are scheduled and distracted, the easier it is to bring a patient and open attitude to learning.
Something I always tell new-to-homeschooling families is that I love how each family homeschools differently; why would it be otherwise? I love how all of my homeschooling friends have their own unique ways of doing things. And like you said, sometimes seeing these strengths in others can inspire or influence us to make a necessary change to our own homeschool routine.
Thank you Ruth, for sharing your wisdom and creating this electronic garden plot for all of us! Collecting seeds of knowledge is a labor of love.
Sharing resources and experience is soul-helpful to those giving the advice. For those receiving the fruits/flowers of experienced teachers, this forum is a blessing... like you & Peco!
Thanks for your kind words. It was a pleasure to share some of our experience and I hope to offer more in the new Unconformed Education section :)
Thank you for this post and the lots of ideas and references in it. I have a 6-year-old starting school this September and a 3-year-old. Our extended family is full of by now retired teachers and education has been on our mind for a long time. We grew up in Hungary with my wife with both of our moms being teachers and now we live in Germany. So despite all the experience and insight we gathered there, it will be quite a new experience over here. We are very skeptical about the way western education is heading and are especially concerned about the digital devices being introduced too early. But I just give it as a background to how I ended up reading your posts. I immediately bought Bauer's The Story of the World and I cannot wait for reading it with my son.
My question is: can you (or any of the readers) suggest books about philosophy and/or the history of great ideas that are suitable for children? I am more and more subscribed to the idea outlined by Neil Postman that education should be about teaching where we come from as humanity and how we ended up here. I did not have anything like the aforementioned topics in my education and I would like my children to have this perspective as well.
Glad to hear that you found the post helpful :) There are not many curricula that are designed for younger children on philosophy, but there is one publisher that comes to mind that developed books on both Western and Eastern philosophy for children as young as kindergarten (see here under "curricula" https://www.rfwp.com/mct-language-arts/?srsltid=AfmBOorjQavvAkDOGqKVvOehFifSEV-X7DaqCGW4i8AGVD-qsBFAwCmR). I have never used these myself, but you can find out from the descriptions whether these might be a good fit for you. All the best on your educational journey!
Ruth, this is a wonderful resource, chock full of practical wisdom. I will be sharing it widely! Thank you for putting pen to paper with your own experience so that others can learn from it.
Thanks for sharing Kerri ! It was a challenge to try and squeeze all this into a post to give a bird's eye view without overwhelming the reader :)
This is a wonderful piece - thanks so much for sharing these experiences!
Thanks for reading Vincent :)
"Time to be bored and create". Children in public school, 1984-2006, but for one year of complete homeschooling with 8th grade youngest. I observed each summer, that after school year ended, a few weeks had to pass, until girls "became bored", at which point they turned to indulging their creative spirit. In particular, one summer this involved making jewelry from tumbled semiprecious stones (field trip to rock shop) and sterling silver wire. Nice stuff, real stuff resulted.
This is wonderful Ruth! Thank you. I was home-educated and I feel that it’s inevitable I will technically do that with my children (8 and 3) someday but for the moment your descriptions of life together are dear and familiar —- a vibe we are trying to cultivate in our home and one I remember from my childhood and youth. I am encouraged!
Happy to hear that you found resonance and encouragement in this post Abbey :)
Oh my word! This is such great advice. I started homeschooling in 1996ish. I was the only one in my church and when I tried a group, there were only 13 of us in the whole city of Savannah. I have a 37 yr old daughter who went to Christian private for 3 years and a 31 year old who never attended formal school. Now I’m homeschooling 2 of my 3 grands (oldest is 15 and she’s in an online academy).
The best thing I ever read is probably no longer available - ray and Dorothy Moore, Not too early (https://www.moorefoundation.com/ ) maybe you can find it here. Please!!! All Moms, just read to your younger kids. My youngest was my most academic and I didn’t push her until 6th grade. She loved all things Shakespeare. I’m not even an academic and couldn’t enjoy it with her. She was read to, loved climbing trees and is now a self made single woman and can do whatever she wants. My oldest is also the same but has a farm, family and works from home. My motto all their homeschool years, “we are not here to learn to spew facts on a test but to learn a lifestyle of lifelong learning”. With the explosion of technology I had no idea how true that statement would become.
I read the first long book, that’d they’d ever experienced, to my grands last year, “Where the Red Fern Grows”. The youngest will spend her b-day money b-4 it arrives normally. The boy works for 2 yrs. for his dogs. I made a big deal about delayed gratification… now that 9 yr old has $300.00 dollars saved up and refuses to spend it. So much to be taught from classical books.
Relax, study your kids interests and weakness and focus on that. By weaknesses I mean, that’s where they need GENTLE instruction.
I am looking forward to following the trail of recommended resources you've mentioned here. I was public schooled and married a homeschooler. We have both been fully-committed to homeschooling from the first, but I have found my own lack of experience and practice in self-direction, the discipline of being consistent, and isolated academia a real curve-ball. I struggle with getting going in the morning, and I know this is something I'll have to master. Thank you for the encouragement. "A set time for waking and learning", I think will be key for us.
Hi Alicia, hope that you'll find some practical encouragement among the resources. I think having a regular routine makes truly everything possible. For us, going for a brief neighbourhood walk just after breakfast worked wonders. It made us feel that we were arriving at "school" upon our return and helped the transition from breakfast to learning. Also, starting the learning period with a common math game, memory work, or read-aloud set a positive tone for the rest of the morning. For younger children, keeping it "simple and sane" is the key, and trusting that small consistencies over time develop into great learning habits. All the best :)
''Kill me now!" Love it!!
And thanks so much for linking to my posts. Very kind of you.
I know :) Still makes me laugh and would make a perfect title for a top ten list "Top Ten Kill Me Now Curricula". Happy to share your work!
Thank you for this post! I’m eager to hear more as I’m just starting out homeschooling my 1st grader and Kindergartener. We are planning to start on Monday!
I have read a few of the books on your list and would also highly recommend the book Patterns for Life: An Orthodox reflection on Charlotte Mason by Lisa Rose and Laura E. Wolfe. It was fantastic- I’d recommend it to any Christian parent- whether or not they are Orthodox and whether or not they intend to homeschool. So much wisdom about life and parenting and being a follower of Christ.
Thanks for adding that recommendation Caroline! Wonderful to have you along and hope that you'll find encouragement and practical inspiration along the way. I'll be hosting a curriculum "show and tell" for paying subscribers that might be of interest to you as well :)